


Hearts (aren't supposed to hurt like that)

by JoyKatieWrites



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: And she is adorable, Can't work out where else to add it, Emma is young in this one, F/M, I will add better notes in the chapters, Mary Margaret & Regina & Ruby, Mentions of Possible Character Death, Title from Hearts by Jessie Ware, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-10-13 14:18:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyKatieWrites/pseuds/JoyKatieWrites
Summary: Mary Margaret and David are happily married and living with their daughter Emma. Life is perfect. But how long can perfect really last? /Rated for themes. Inaccuracies galore but this whole story/plotline really was based on a dream and how accurate are they really? Title from Hearts by Jessie Ware.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was all based on a dream. There is a gigantic trigger warning at the start of this. I will post more specifically with each relevant chapter.

“Maggie?” David questioned as he watched his wife come down the stairs. She seemed shaky, and he could see from where he stood that her skin was pale and clammy. It was clear when she looked up at him, her expression one of confusion that something was not right. He watched as she stepped off the last step, swaying slightly as she gripped the bottom of the banister.

“Yeah baby?” The crackly tone of her voice concerned David and made him frown and he took a step towards her at the same time she moved.

“Are you ok sweetheart?” David asked, his tone making it clear he would not believe any answer other than no.

“I’m...” David took another step forward, halfway to her when her legs collapsed under her. He was not fast enough to catch her as she fell to the ground.

He dropped the mug he was holding, the coffee splattering to the ground before the cup smashed. He was on his knees beside her in less than a second, ignoring the liquid soaking into his pants as he struggled in his pocket for his phone.

“EMMA! Come down here!” He ran a hand over the clammy skin of his unconscious wife and typed in 911, hearing the footsteps of his 6 year old at the top of the stairs.

“Daddy, what…” David had looked up at her approach, his finger hovering over the call button, as Emma took a few more steps and noticed the collapsed woman. “MOMMY! Daddy what happened?”

“I don’t know sweetheart but we need to get her to the hospital ok?” The petite blonde nodded vigorously and ran to the doorway, pulling on her boots and coat, struggling momentarily to pull David’s coat off the hook. She carried it to him as he pocketed his keys, lifting the unconscious woman into his arms. “Go grab my keys from the counter sweetie, we’re gonna drive ok?” David ordered. Emma was out of the room and back in thirty seconds and was following her father out the door as the love of his life remained dead to the world.

The trip to the hospital was fast, but to David it seemed to go on forever. His wife was strapped into the front seat beside him, their daughter behind her torn between looking out the window, poking her mom’s shoulder and asking her dad if ‘mommy is ok’. David was trying to remain upbeat for the six year old, but the fact she had yet to regain consciousness was concerning to him.

The hospital was close enough and so David was pulling into the parking lot just as Mary Margaret was beginning to stir. As David looked for a spot, Emma had noticed her mother was now awake and so was asking her questions, trying to keep her responding.

“Mommy are you ok?”

“Mmhhngghh.”

“Momma… we’re at the hospital… daddy said they’re gon’ fix you.”

The small girl obviously didn’t understand the extent of the situation as it was, as her mother again lost consciousness, her head lolling down to her chest. Emma merely poked here again. “Momma wake up, we’re here.”

David was out of the car, helping his daughter out of the seat and into her jacket, not wanting to waste a second. He paused as she grabbed her bunny before opening the front, ready to take his wife in to be seen to.

The staff did rush to his aid as soon as they saw him carrying her through the front doors of the emergency department. She was on a gurney and through the double doors families could not go through in moments, and David was left stood in the middle of the corridor, staring after her.

“Excuse me sir?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Daddy?”

David looked down at his little girl with a frown. “What baby?” He answered absentmindedly, still looking at the doors as a nurse ran from one room to the other behind them.

“Daddy this lady wants to talk to you.” He looked down at the confused little girl, following her finger to who she was pointing to, a woman stood just in front of him to the side.

“Oh. Sorry…” The nurse smiled kindly when she had David’s attention and he nodded, glancing through the doors again on the off chance his wife would be seen walking out through them. When she wasn’t, he turned his full attention to the nurse in front of him.

“Sir we just need to take some details from you, while they’re taking care of your wife.” He nodded again and bent down to lift his daughter into his arms. Although she was getting older, he sensed she needed the comfort from him as much as he needed it from her.

“Sure… Her name is Mary Margaret Nolan, she goes by Maggie. Date of birth 7th March 1987. No known allergies. She’s not on any medications. She just collapsed at home.” He paused as he remembered the moment her legs collapsed from under her.

“And how long was she unconscious sir?”

“Uh, I think it took about ten minutes, for us to get from home to here. She came back in the car for a moment but then…”

“And has she had any symptoms before the collapse?”

“She’s had some flu symptoms. A little vomiting. Nothing too concerning. She saw a doctor and she said everything was fine. Why? What could it be?”

“She’s been taken for some scans Mr Nolan, hopefully they will give more of an answer as to why she collapsed. I’m going to bring you some forms to fill in and then when she is awake we will come and find you. If you want to take the little one to the waiting room, there are some things there that she can play with. I’ll be right back with your forms Mr Nolan.” David simply nodded again, shifting Emma on his hip.

When he’d been handed the forms he carried Emma into the room he had been directed to, placing her down on the empty chair in the corner. Grabbing a pen from the table with magazines on in the corner, he sat beside her and began to fill in the form.

“Daddy?” David looked up from the form where he was putting in Mary Margaret’s personal details.

“Yeah honey?” David asked quietly, glancing at the little girl and back to the form to show although he was writing, she had his attention.

“I’m scared. Is momma gonna be okay?” With a sigh, David turned in his seat, reaching over to take his daughters hand. He wasn’t frustrated with her, more with the situation. He didn’t know what was going on, but his wife had never really been sick before, aside from the rare cough or cold, let alone badly enough to end up in hospital.

“I’m sure the doctors will do everything they can to make her better. We’re gonna wait right here until she wakes up and then as soon as we can, we’ll go in and see her.” Emma nodded with a frown, leaning her head against his upper arm as he carried on writing with his other hand. When the form was completed he simply put it on the chair next to him, assuming someone would come for it. When his hands were free, the little girl took the opportunity to climb on his lap. When she was comfortable she lifted her toy bunny up in front of his face.

“Daddy; Bugs is sleepy. Can we take a nap?” David tightened his arms around his little one, pressing a kiss to the top of her head when she laid her head against his chest. Before an hour ago it had been a normal day for the family, Emma had slept well the previous night and so David knew she wasn’t tired, but falling asleep now would mean she didn’t have to worry about her mommy.

David wished it was that easy for him. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the memory of his wife collapsing the way she did, and it probably wasn’t as traumatic as she’d be looking if something was really wrong. He sat back, cradling his daughter, unwilling and unable to sleep like she did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assume anything medical from here on in is deliberately inaccurate or if it's accurate it's because I had help.

Mary Margaret had finally regained consciousness after her scans had been completed. Preliminary checks showed no obvious neurological abnormalities though they were yet to be assessed by a specialist. She had been taken to ICU after the scans and had been given an IV for fluids, she had had bloods taken and when the nurse had finally received the form from David, her hospital files had been pulled up for assessment.

The first thing she said when she woke up shocked the nurse and the physician’s assistant that were in the room. She’d been given some mild sedatives to keep her still in case she awoke in the scanner and they’d obviously worn off as she woke and looked around the room blearily, determining where she was and what had happened.

“You can’t tell my husband anything okay?”

“Mrs Nolan, there are some things that we need to discuss from your test results. We need to talk about why you collapsed in the first place. The doctor will be in shortly to speak with you but until then, we will not share any information with your husband if we do not have your permission.” Maggie nodded tiredly, trying to lift her hand to wipe her face, hindered by an IV in the crook of her arm as well as one in her hand.

“How long until the doctor is able to attend? I’m fine, I need to get home to my daughter.” The nurse frowned down at the woman who was looking a lot better than her test results showed she should be.

“Your husband and daughter are in the waiting room if you wish to speak to them Mrs Nolan. We won’t share any information with him if you’re not comfortable, but they have been asking after you for the last few hours.” Mary Margaret paused to consider it.

“I’m sure the doctor will be able to discharge me so I will wait for him, then he won’t need to bring Emma in here. I don’t want her in here.” The nurse nodded once and made her way out of the room. Mary Margaret sighed, closing her eyes again. She was tired but forced herself to wake up properly, wanting to be ready to go when she was given the nod.

She didn’t have to wait long. The doctor walked in less than ten minutes later carrying a tablet. “Good afternoon Mrs Nolan… how are you feeling?”

“Absolutely fine. I’m ready to leave. Can you sign the form to make it happen?”

Dr Whale took a deep breath and sat on the stool that had been left beside the bed. “I’ve had a look at your records Mrs Nolan. Can I call you Mary Margaret?” The woman frowned and shook her head.

“It’s Maggie.”

“Well Maggie, I can see from your records that you’ve been under the care of Doctor Hopper, our chief oncologist, since your initial diagnosis 16 weeks ago?” Maggie shrugged beginning to twist at her fingers. “Well I have spoken to Dr Hopper Maggie and he informed me that since your diagnosis you have not seen him again, you’ve refused to agree to any further meetings or even consent to any additional tests to get more information to assemble a treatment plan. Can you maybe tell us why that is?”

Again she shrugged, listening to his words as she remembered the initial meeting and diagnosis with Dr Hopper and then that evening as she’d tried to tell her husband, picturing her daughters face every time she tried.

When the doctor received no response he continued speaking. “We’re still waiting on some test results Mrs Nolan but one thing we can confirm is that you are pregnant, were you aware of that?”

Maggie’s stomach dropped and she gasped for breath as realisation settled in her head. “I am? How long…?”

Whale clearly recognised that she was reacting to the news as his next comment was in a tone a lot less judgemental than previously. “We believe you’re between 8 and ten weeks with the initial test, we will have to do a further assessment.” Mary Margaret nodded as she took all of the information in. “We are still unsure about the cause of your collapse earlier today but it can potentially be related to the diagnosis of which you are already aware.”

“Right so if it’s nothing major, can I go home? My daughter is six, she can’t be spending all day in a hospital.”

The judgemental look was back on Whales face as he stood from his seat. “Mrs Nolan I asked Doctor Hopper to come down and have a talk with you. We will be keeping you overnight to wait for some results of other tests, and if we can’t find a cause for your collapse we might have to keep you longer. You can of course discharge yourself against medical advice, but I really hope you choose to stay now we’re more aware of your… conditions.”

“Can you ask my husband to come in? But don’t tell him anything!” The woman glared up at the man, obviously ineffectually and too concerned to show any malice. “If anyone says anything to him, I will sue.”

Whale nodded and made a quick note on the tablet, making a quick exit from the room. Within minutes, her husband and daughter walked in hand-in-hand and Maggie suddenly felt ten times lighter.

“MOMMY!” The little girls eyes lit up as she saw her mother, though she held herself back from running at her, old enough now to understand something wasn’t right. Maggie smiled at her little girl, struggling to upright herself properly as she held her arms open, David quickly lifting the girl onto the bed.

“I’m so sorry I scared you baby girl, mommy just hadn’t had enough to drink and it made her faint.” Emma snuggled into Mary Margaret’s side and the woman reached out her free arm towards her husband, relaxing instantly when he took her hand. David saw the tension melt away when they were together, and perched on the other side of his wife, watching Emma clutch at Mary Margaret’s gown, wanting to be as close to her as possible. Mary Margaret embraced it, pressing a kiss to the top of the little girls head.

The blonde began to suck her thumb, a habit that David and Maggie had been trying to get her to stop, but when David reached out to remove her thumb from between her lips, Maggie stopped him with a tug on his wrist, shaking her head when his gaze turned to her. They would allow it, just this once. It wasn’t long before the tired six year old fell asleep, cuddled into the side of the woman who’d raised her. When her thumb slipped from her mouth, and the parents could tell she was deeply enough asleep that they could talk properly.

“What did the doctor really say Maggie? I know for a fact dehydration is not what happened here.” Maggie sighed and shifted to give her husband more room to sit properly on the bed. When he was re-situated she shifted herself so Emma was still cuddled against her but she was leaning on her husband, hoping for him to react to her news quietly so Emma could continue to sleep.

“The doctor hasn’t given me a reason why I collapsed yet, but he did tell me something which could have contributed to it. Turns out I’m pregnant.”

She spoke so nonchalantly and was still leaning against him when she said it and her stomach dropped when she realised how selfish she was being. David had always wanted a big family, and although she was happy with just Emma, she knew she had just dropped big news on her husband, news she should have given him in a much better fashion than she just did. She glanced up at him to find him staring at her and she blushed at the intensity of his gaze. His reply was quiet, and it seemed he was almost speechless as he stroked her cheek reverently, unable to stop the smile that was breaking out on his face.

“Seriously? You are?” Maggie bit her lip, nodding hesitantly, her uncertain smile stretching at his answering beam.

“I didn’t know. I figured that I had the flu or something. I’m guessing this morning was all just a funny turn.” She sighed, leaning her head against David’s shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. Here, she was comfortable. Here, she could forget about what Whale had said. She could pretend everything was okay.


	3. Chapter 3

The family had settled and remained together for around an hour before a nurse returned to check on the monitors, and make sure everything was okay. No further test results had come back but that didn’t stop Maggie panicking everytime Whale or the PA that had been involved in her care had walked past the room, paranoid that they would enter and share worrying news with her husband.

David seemed to notice his wife tense every so often, and he saw that she had one eye on the door at all times, but he decided not to raise it as Emma had woken form her nap and was telling her mother all about Bugs’ adventures at school the week previous. She was nodding in all the right places, and Emma seemed satisfied enough that she had her attention, but David made a note to discuss her behaviour with her later on.

When the clock turned towards the evening, David sighed, extricating himself from the grips of his wife and daughter, the pair both holding onto him in some way. “Maggie, did they tell you when you’re allowed home? I haven’t seen the doctor, why hasn’t he been in to see you?” Mary Margaret frowned, brushing Emma’s hair back from her face as a distraction.

“I think they want to keep me in tonight. Whale said he still didn’t know why I collapsed and I…” The haunted look that crossed her face did not go unnoticed by David and he knew in that moment that there was something she was hiding from him. “David, you’ll have to call the school. Obviously I wont be able to go to work tomorrow… Emma’s bag is packed and she has swimming tomorrow so you need to make sure her costume is packed, it’s in the dryer right now. And I defrosted some chicken, if you put it in the slow cooker tomorrow morning it’ll be done by the time you finish work.” The woman was rambling and was beginning to twist her fingers, an action she did when she was nervous or stressed.

“Emma, sweetheart, it’s time to go home. Bath and bed before school tomorrow.” Emma began to pout. Normally she loved school but she could tell that her mom wouldn’t be there tomorrow and she didn’t want to leave her. Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around the six year old and gave her a squeeze, kissing the top of her head lightly.

“I’ll be home tomorrow duckling, I promise. You can tell me all about school and swimming and we’ll watch your favourite movie before bed okay?” The little girl nodded, sniffling, and Mary Margaret chose to ignore the glare coming from David’s direction, hugging Emma to her again. “Now be good for daddy, and have fun at school.” There was a small nod as the little blonde hugged her bunny to her chest, wrapping one arm around David’s neck as he lifted her. She was tired, it had been a long and emotional day, and she was always clingy in those circumstances. David leant forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his wife’s lips, leaning their foreheads together for a moment.

“I’ll call the school. I’ll cook the chicken. I’ll see you tomorrow okay my love?” Mary Margaret could only smile, and she waved as her husband and daughter left the room. The door swung open almost immediately and the woman sighed as Whale walked in with two orderlies.

“Mrs Nolan, we’re still not ready for you to be discharged yet but we do think you are well enough to be discharged but we are going to be moving you out of here, and into a ward upstairs. There isn’t any room in oncology right now, but we will be informing Doctor Hopper of your room change and he will visit you in the morning. He was going to attend today but he was called into emergency surgery.”

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Doctor Whale, it is my decision if I want to see him… I just can’t deal with this right now.” She shifted onto her side, turning her back on the staff in the room, ignoring their attempts at gaining her attention. She waited until the door closed before she allowed the tears to fall.

* * *

David was awoken at 4am with a troubled feeling in his gut. He turned to see Emma asleep on Mary Margaret’s pillow, bunny clutched tightly in her arms.

Emma was safe. David’s stomach sank as he realised it must be Mary Margaret. He was about to ring the brunette woman when his phone rang, breaching the silence of the room. He answered it quickly, not wanting to wake Emma with the noise.

“Maggie? Are you okay? I was just about to call you.” He heard a sniffle on the other end of the line, a noise that reminded him so much of Emma when she was upset or scared.

“David…” Her tone was soft and he could hear that she had been crying. “I’m sorry to call at this time. I just… I miss you and I wanted to hear your voice. I hate being apart from you.” David couldn’t help but chuckle, before he sobered quickly. This was the first night they’d been apart in years and they’d always struggled when David had to go away for work, or when Mary Margaret had to go out of town to visit her family. “How’s Emma?”

It wasn’t uncommon for them to call the other during their nights away. It was usually David that was away while Mary Margaret stayed to look after Emma. Her job never called for out of town conferences, unlike David’s previous job. When Emma had turned two, David had switched jobs and for now, didn’t have cause to travel.

“Emma snuck into our room and is currently sleeping cuddled into her mommy’s pillow. I think she misses you as much as I do.” David paused as he heard another sob, and it caused his heart to clench. “I can come in and visit as soon as I’ve dropped Emma off my love, or I can bring her with me.” He knew without seeing that his wife was shaking her head.

“No, we can’t disrupt her routine. This is only gonna be short term, it’s not like it’s anything serious. I’ll be home tomorrow. She should go to school, keep her busy.” They lapsed into silence, just hearing each other breathe on the other end was enough for a few minutes. When David tried and failed to stifle a yawn, his counterpart sighed, shifting from a sitting position to laying down. She had wanted to keep talking to her husband, unable to sleep in the stark metallic room she was currently in; but she couldn’t keep him awake just because she was scared. “You should get some sleep my love. You know I don’t like you driving when you’re tired, even if it’s only to Emma’s school.”

David could hear the quiet desperation in her tone, after seven years of marriage, he was used to how she sounded in her different moods. He was tired but he’d slept for about 5 hours already, he could stay up with his wife if it brought her some comfort.

“I’m fine my love. Tell me…” The line was silent as David turned into a more comfortable position. “what’s happened since we left the hospital?”

“Well I’ve been moved to a different room now, seeing as I’m not an emergent case and I had some more blood tests. They tried to give me a PET scan but I… David?” There was a pause and what sounded like rustling before her phone dinged, and David hummed.

“Sorry sweetheart, I just had to take a picture of Emma, she’s being so cute. Take a look, she’s holding your pillow like a koala.” He paused while there were similar sounds on the other end as Mary Margaret pulled the phone from her ear to look at the photo in her inbox. David heard her exclamation of joy when she saw the picture of her daughter, before pulling the phone back to her ear.

“She’s so cute David, can you believe we made her?” David smiled at the delight in her voice and he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, sighing with happiness as he considered his family, and the fact it was growing.

“I know sweetheart. I bet our new little one will be just as perfect eh?” Mary Margaret released a breath, moving a hand under the scratchy hospital blanket to caress her still-flat stomach.

“I…” The feeling of guilt that had settled in her stomach was making her want to blurt out what she was hiding from her husband. She took a deep breath in, biting her lip as she pictured the new addition to their family. Although she had concerns about how long she’d actually be around to see her new baby, she couldn’t wait to meet them. “Anything we make together would be perfect David.” She heard his chuckle on the other end and her smile came easier.

“Except that time we tried couples yoga and I caused you grievous bodily harm.” Mary Margaret laughed at the memory of him dropping her and then falling himself, landing on her arm, causing it to snap in two places. David himself shivered at the memory, remembering the threat they’d had from their nosey neighbour when she’d seen them returning from the hospital in a cast. He started thinking about what she’d say if she’d seen him carrying her out of the house, unconscious.

“Ok David, the babies we make would all be pretty perfect.” His agreement was instantaneous, his mood instantly switching back from concerned to delighted.

“Is that you saying there will be more Maggie?” He was teasing, and she knew it, but it didn’t stop the gnawing feeling from returning. Her response was delayed as she tried to think of a way of answering.

“Let’s just see how we manage this one shall we?” They lapsed back into into silence for a few minutes until Mary Margaret gasped in pain as what felt like a cramp tore through her abdomen. David heard the noise and sat up straight, concerned.

“Maggie are you okay?”

“I gotta go.” The call ended before David could say another word and when he tried to redial, it rang out. He tried once more and the call instantly went to voicemail. Knowing he couldn’t take a sleeping six year old to the hospital, and knowing they would not answer if he rang, he lay back down, worry for his wife causing a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

Mary Margaret had refused all visitors. David had called in the morning to inform her there was an emergency at work and he could try and get cover if she needed him to visit. She’d told him that work was more important and that she’d be out by that evening, going so far as refusing to answer any of his questions about the previous night.

She’d then had a call from her boss and one of her closest friends asking if she was up for a visit. The young woman had thanked her friend for her concern and denied the request to visit with an apology. She’d further apologised for missing work and informed the woman she would be returning the following day, a statement which had been laughed at, not unkindly.

Mary Margaret could not explain her reasoning for not wanting to see anyone. She’d spoken to her nurse who had passed a message on from Whale and had thrown the box of tissues at the door when Doctor Hopper had tried to enter.

She’d known she was ill for a few weeks longer than she’d been pregnant. She couldn’t explain why she had refused to tell him, and still did, but after some late night reading had assumed she was in the denial stage of processing her diagnosis.

That morning, it appeared she’d transitioned into the stage of anger. She couldn’t identify the feelings, whether it was at herself, Whale, Hopper, even her husband. She sat in silence, refusing food, refusing to talk to anyone, stewing as she considered her situation. She supposed it was the news that it was no longer herself that was at risk that made her angry. Was it too late? Could she be treated and still remain pregnant, or would that be harmful to the baby? Could she keep it a secret until she’d had the baby. Would she be too sick at the end of that?

That train of thought clarified things for Mar Margaret. She was definetly angry at herself. She knew she needed to speak to Doctor Hopper to at least become aware of her options. However she didn’t want to give Whale the satisfaction.

Her phone rang, and it was then that she realised she had once again been stroking her stomach absentmindedly. She sighed as she answered the bothersome device. There was no winner in a situation like this, and that caused the anger to burn brighter inside her. She answered the call but remained silent, not wanting to say anything that would arouse the suspicions of the caller.

“Mags? Are you there?” She sighed as she realised it was her best friend calling, and she had no reason to take her feelings out on the woman who’d been her favourite person since she was Emma’s age.

“Rubes? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I heard you were in the hospital. What happened?” Mary Margaret rolled her shoulders as she felt herself tense up at the question. She could hear wind blowing on the other end of the line and assumed that Ruby was running somewhere, her usual mode of travel.

“Just dehydration. It’s nothing. I do have news though. You should come over soon, we can have a girls night. We can invite Regina so Emma can have a playdate with Henry.” She heard a non-commital noise coming from her friend and she smirked.

“Well actually I’m on my way to the hospital now, I’m picking something up for my gran, which ward are you on, I’ll come and visit.”

“Rubes, no, it’s…”

“I’m not taking no for an answer Mags, I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Just another few miles to go.” The call was cut and Mary Margaret couldn’t help but smile. Her childhood friend was the one person who never failed to bring a smile to her face.

Her anger hadn’t faded however and when Whale stepped into the room about ten minutes after the call. He didn’t say anything imediatley but his mere prescence caused her to glare in his direction. He didn’t let it affect him, and the barely restrained roll of his eyes caused the anger to flare up inside her.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Mrs Nolan, Doctor Hopper has advised we cannot discharge you from here until you have had a consultation with him. He has a break in his schedule about an hour from now. He will be down to visit you and after the consultation, we will look at getting you discharged. Your test results show nothing that explains your collapse, so we’re assuming it’s a blood flow issue connected to the pregnancy. I’ll be in before discharge to discuss that with you further.” Without another word, or waiting for a response he turned and left the room, the door clicking shit behind him.

At that sound, the dam broke, and Mary Margaret allowed herself to cry. She cried for her family. Her husband, for if she wasn’t strong enough for the fight she was facing. For her daughter, who apparently couldn’t spend one night away from her. For the baby, who, for if she delayed treatment for as long as possible, may lose their mother. She cried for herself and the fact she had put her family in this situation.

She only managed to stop crying when there was a knock at the door, and she hastily wiped her face with the blanket as the door creaked open, the red highlights of her favourite non-family member person looking in.

“Rubes. You’re here!” She sniffed, knowing that it would be very obvious she’d been crying. “How did you…?” Ruby had entered the room and was smirking at the woman in the bed. One thing Mary Margaret loved about Ruby was that she never asked obvious questions, and so she moved to the womans side and took her hand, waiting for her to look up.

“Hey Mags. Hospital got you down huh?” Mary Margaret simply nodded, leaning into the other woman as she wrapped her arms around her. The red haired woman hugged her friend tight, allowing them to sit in silence while Mary Margaret collected her thoughts.

“So I was thinking…”

“I’m pregnant.”

Ruby paused in what she was saying, planning to have broken the silence with a joke. Her friend had obviously collected her thoughts but her expression, tone of voice, and clear evidence that she’d been crying, she didn’t know if this news was good or bad.

“And another baby… that’s the cause of the tears right?” Ruby was more than a little concerned about her friend, the fact she was still in hospital after 24 hours for ‘pregnancy’ was not a good sign.

“I… I…” She hiccupped, unable to find the words she was looking for to tell her friend what was going on. “No, it’s a good thing. David is so excited. He said… He always said he wanted a big family.”

Ruby’s confused frown dropped and left only a concerned expression. “So why the the tears then M&M.”

“I just… I don’t know how many more I can give him. What if this is our last? What if we don’t end up with the large family that he wants?” The tears started to fall again and the taller woman didn’t hesitate to wrap her in her arms again.

“Oh Mags, unless they’ve told you this will be your last, you don’t need to worry about that right now. This is supposed to be a happy time, we should be celebrating. Unless… has something been said?” Mary Margaret shook her head, giving the literal answer to the question.

“No but…”

They were interrupted by the door opening, Doctor Hopper walking in, distracted by his tablet.

“Good afternoon Mrs Nolan, I believe Doctor Whale informed you of the consultation about your…” He looked up then and, realising she wasn’t alone, abruptly stopped. Mary Margaret was watching him with wide eyes, and the other woman, someone he recognised but could not place in his embarrassment was frowning at him. “I’m very sorry for disturbing you Mrs Nolan, I will come back later.” He turned on his heel and was out of the door in a moment, leaving the woman in the hospital bed to shrink into herself.

When the door was closed the taller woman turned on her friend, trying to find the right words to form her question.

“Maggie… why do you have a consultation with an oncologist?”

Mary Margaret shrugged, looking anywhere but at her best friend. She knew that the lawyer’s grandmother was currently receiving treatement for melanoma at the hospital they were currently in, and so it would make sense that Ruby recognised the head of oncology.

“Mags?”

Still no answer, as Mary Margaret tried to do anythingto avoid the inevitable conversation that was coming. She stood from the bed and grabbed David’s hoodie from the chair, pulling it over her head.

“Mary Margaret I swear to all that is good and holy, if you don’t answer my question…” With a sigh, the teacher turned to the lawyer, burying her hands in her kangaroo pocket, looking down at the ground, trying to avoid her gaze.

“I think it’s obvious that you already know the answer Ruby.”

“Look at me.” When she didn’t look up, Ruby stepped forward, saying it again. “I said look at me Maggie, now.” The shorter woman looked up, her eyes once again brimming with tears. She leaned into the embrace that was offered, holding on tight. “You need to talk to me Mags… What kind… When did you find out… What did David say… How far along is the baby?”

“I… I found out a few months ago… I don’t know how to tell David. I think at first I just wanted to pretend it wasn’t true but… since I found out about the baby yesterday I… I can’t pretend any more.”

“You mean David doesn’t know? Mags you can’t not tell him. He’s your husband. The father of your kids. What are you thinking?!” The woman may have raised her voice but she was not angry. She was concerned for the family that she’d known and loved as long as they’d been together, the mother of her goddaughter. “You have to Maggie. If he finds out you kept this from him any longer than you have… if he knows that you found out you were pregnant at a time that you knew you were sick… if he knows you knew you were sick and didn’t let him be there for you… You know what you have to do.” Mary Margaret nodded, twisting her fingers together.

“I know… Can you… if you see Hopper when you leave can you…” Ruby nodded, stepping back from the woman who was close to panicking.

“I’m gonna head out. I gotta go see Granny. I’ll call you later tonight okay?” Mary Margaret nodded tilting her head as Ruby pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I love you. We’ll get through this together okay? Congrats on the baby.”

The brunette sat back down on the bed, frustrated, upset and scared. She needed time to deal with everything that had happened in the last 24 hours; wanting nothing more than to curl up into a ball and ignore the world around her. Her worry turned to annoyance when a knock rang out and the door opened again, the fourth time in an hour.

“Mrs Nolan…” He stood in the doorway until Mary Margaret looked up and nodded her consent for him to enter, shutting the door behind him. “So Mrs Nolan… How have you been feeling lately?”


	5. Chapter 5

By 4pm David was getting very concerned. He had been brushed off when he tried to call about visiting in the morning and when he called her on his lunch break and then again when he picked Emma up from school he received no answer, the second time, the phone hadn’t even rang, indicating it was switched off.

He had taken Emma straight home although she had asked to go and visit her mommy, wanting to make sure everything was ready for when she returned. When his phone rang around half an hour later he answered it eagerly expecting to hear his wife’s voice. He was surprised when his wifes best friend spoke.

“Hey Dave, how’s Emma?”

“Ruby, you know I hate…”

“Great, listen, have you spoken to Maggie this afternoon?” The lawyer sounded concerned and it caused David to pull the phone away from his ear and frown at it.

“Not really. I left her a message but I guess she’s sleeping or having tests or something because I’ve not heard back. Why, is something wrong? Is she ok?”

Ruby remained silent on the line for what David counted one second too long. “Ruby what…?”

“No, David, don’t panic… I just called her earlier and I didn’t hear back. I didn’t know whether she’d been discharged or…” David sighed, anxiety swirling in his gut.

“Ruby, can you come over and look after Emma? I need to go to the hospital. She’s supposed to be coming home today. There’s no way dehydration calls for a 24 hour stay in hospital.” They talked for another minute before David hung up the phone, ready to leave as soon as she arrived. He couldn’t help the feeling that he was missing some important information, or that something was being kept from him.

Half an hour after the phone call, he was pulling into the hospital carpark. His phone rang as he was looking for an empty space and he pulled into a disabled bay when he saw who was calling.

“Hey my love. Is everything okay? I…”

“Everything’s fine. I’m being discharged… can you come get me?” David nodded before remembering that she could not see him.

“Sure sweetheart. I’ll be there soon. Whereabouts are you?”

“I’ll wait in the reception area near the entrance. Maybe we can stop for some decent coffee on the way home?”

“I’ll be right there babe. Sit tight and we’ll stop for coffee and cake.”

The call ended and he found a new space, moving into the clear space opposite he had seen. When he made his way into the hospital a few minutes later he saw his wife sat with Mulan, a nurse in the hospital whose son Phillip went to Emma’s school.

They were talking quietly, Mulan with one hand on the handle of the wheelchair Mary Margaret was sat in, heads together. He could only see a side profile of his wife and so didn’t notice until he reached her that her face was red and tear tracks were evidence on her cheeks.

“Hey sweetheart…” He approached quietly, not wanting to startle her, yet she still jumped, turning to face him with a frown.

“You got here quick. Didn’t I just…” She trailed off as she checked her phone. “Call you? I did… five minutes ago.”

“I was already on my way in sweetheart. I had a feeling the love of my life needed me.” Despite her tears, she couldn’t help but smile at her husband. He always seemed to know what she needed, and when she needed him. He leaned forward and she reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck, both enjoying the comfort they bought each other. After a minute they both pulled back, their foreheads connected as David tried to work out how his wife was feeling.

“You ready to come home? I didn’t tell Emma I was coming and it’ll be a nice surprise that you’re home.” Mary Margaret nodded, waving goodbye to Mulan as David wheeled her out the hospital.

Emma of course was ecstatic to see her mother when they returned. They’d been stuck in traffic for longer than expected and then the queue in their favourite coffee shop had been three times as long as usual. David had even asked his wife if they’d mind stopping at a store before they headed home. Mary Margaret was getting excessively nervous, even though it had been less than 24 hours since she’d last seen her daughter and been at home. She knew that she couldn’t keep her secret forever and the threat of the news coming out in an uncontrolled manner scared her. She had to find a way to tell him, and soon.

Walking through the door the little girl had launched herself at her woman, not yet tall enough for a significant impact on her stomach, but she still leant forward to catch her, holding her tight. “Hey sweetheart. I missed you munchkin. Have you been good for daddy and Aunt Rubes?” The woman, knowing her daughter needed the physical closeness as much as she did, lifted the little girl onto her hip, nodding at Ruby as she rounded the corner into the room.

The small blonde nodded as she buried her head in her mothers shoulder, holding onto her as tightly as she was able. “I missed you mommy. Don’t go again ok?” Mary Margaret could only nod and squeeze her daughter tighter, wanting to hold on forever.

“I wont leave you again baby, I promise.” She felt David wrap his arms around both of them from behind her and she relaxed into him, smiling up at the thing they both loved most in the world. “Now sweetheard, go get your book and we’ll read on the sofa. After that, we’ll eat some dinner and then its bath and bedtime for our little angel.” Excitedly, the six year old nodded and ran up the stairs as soon as she was set down, leaving the three adults downstairs together. David pressed a kiss to his wife’s temple, sliding his hand down her waist as he moved towards the kitchen to check on dinner.

When the women were alone, the taller woman stepped forward, hugging her friend properly. She pulled back with a frown and Mary Margaret swallowed, nervous under the intense gaze of her best friend.

“I’m assuming from the smiles all around that you didn’t tell him yet?” The words were spoken at just over a whisper and the pregnant woman sighed with a shake of her head.

“I haven’t found the time, or the words… I’m trying Red, I swear. Just… look how happy he is about the baby. I’m not gonna ruin the one thing that has made him happy lately.”

Ruby rolled her eyes, more upset than annoyed and shook her head as she made her way past her friend, to the front door.

“Call me if you need me Mags.” Without another word she was out of the door and Emma was on her way downstairs, chattering excitedly to her mom before she’d even reached the end of the staircase.

“Momma I got my book, I read one in class and I got a sticker for how good I did it and I was ‘llowed to pick a second book.” Mary Margaret grinned at her daughter, taking the hand that was offered to her as she led them over to the sofa.

“Lets wait for daddy and then you can show us both how good you are with your reading.” The blonde nodded as she leaned against her mother, happy to have her home again. After a few minutes of waiting however, she got bored and opened the book, mouthing the words to herself to practice before she showed her mommy and daddy. She chanced a quick glance at her mom and saw that she had fallen asleep, and seeing an opportunity, she placed the book beside her and wrapped her arm around her mothers waist, leaning against her chest as she closed her eyes, wanting to take a nap while she did.

David, hearing nothing from the kitchen, made his way to the main room to check on his family. He couldn’t help but smile at the picture of his little girl cuddled into her mother. He leant against the door frame of the kitchen for a moments as his favourite people napped together before realising he’d have to wake them, lest they not sleep tonight.

He kissed his wife first, a forehead kiss to wake her and then a gentle kiss to the lips as she woke, smiling up at him and then down at their daughter as she saw how she’d fallen asleep against her. She looked back at her husband who was watching them both with an adoring gaze and tilted her head.

“You wake her up. I’m not gonna stop the gremlin from napping.” The pair laughed quietly, both knowing what happens when they wake up their little girl when she’s tired. David knelt down so he was on his knees in front of the six-year old and began tickling her, hoping if she woke up laughing she’d be less cranky.

“Wake up grumpy-pants, it’s time for dinner. If you don’t get up, the tickle monster will eat all your dinner!” The little girl giggled as she woke up, shifting under her father’s grasp on her ankle as he tickled her foot.

“No daddy, stop!” She was full on laughing as she tried to move away from his grip. She clamebered onto Mary Margaret’s lap to escape his clutches, her elbow landing on Mary Margarets stomach as she tried to pull away from the tickle monster. Mary Margaret grunted at the impact as the wind was knocked out of her and David immediately stopped, releasing Emma’s foot and lifting her quickly off her mother’s lap.

“Go and wash your hands for dinner sweetie, dinner’s almost ready.” She scampered off, not aware that David was no longer laughing and joking. He shifted to be in front of his wife and took her hand in both of his, watching the other one as it rubbed the spot that had been hit. “You ok sweetheart?” His look was of concern for his wife and unborn child and she snorted at the grimace on his face.

“Babe, it’s fine, she’s six, it was her elbow, not a car. I’m just hungry.” David rolled his eyes at the blasé tone of her voice and stood, holding out his hand to help her up. She took his hand and stood, kissing his pout away as she pulled him into the kitchen. He stood behind her as she dished out the pasta into bowls. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and his chin on her shoulder, his hands clasped in front of her stomach. Mary Margaret leaned back against him, comforted by his embrace, her heart rate calm though her mind was racing as she thought about how she would tell her husband her potentially life changing news without breaking his heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger? Sometimes I can't tell. Basically assume there is a warning attached to every chapter. If I add one, it means it's needed extra.

“You still haven’t told him?!” Ruby was flabbergasted, staring at her friend as they sat together in the overcrowded coffee shop, shoulders close together as they talked, heads together.

“I haven’t found the right…” Mary Margaret had the decency to look guilty as she looked down at the table, gripping the mug in both hands.

“….Time I know. So you keep saying.” She rolled her eyes at her friend, leaning forward to whisper when she saw people around them were looking.

“It’s been two months since I found out Maggie. What the hell have you been doing that you can’t tell your husband you have cancer?”

“You have cancer?”

The question caused both women to look up at who had asked it, eyes wide with Ruby covering her mouth as if it would take back the words. Mary Margaret frowned at the person who stood before them, wishing the ground would swallow it up at the heartbreak on their face.

“Maggie what… Why did you… How long have you known?”

“I… I haven’t told anyone. Ruby was just there when Doctor Hopper was around… I…” She shifted aside as the woman sat beside her, tensing as she instantly took her hand.

“Maggie…” The woman paused before releasing the hand in hers, wrapping her arms around the brunette. “I’m so sorry.” They stayed in an embrace for a minute before Mary Margaret pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes. “You know I am here for you Maggie… if there is anything you need. I’m just a phone call away.”

Mary Margaret nodded as she turned back to her coffee, wiping her eyes clear with a napkin. “I know. Thanks Regina.” She couldn’t bare to see the look of pity in her boss’s eyes and so stared down at the table as her best friends started talking over her shoulders.

She could feel a knot in her chest, and her heart ached as she realised yet another person knew before the one person who should, did. She choked back a sob, tired of crying over every little thing. A hand from either side grabbed both of hers and they squeezed at the same time as if they could guess what she was thinking.

“Why don’t we try and work out a way you can tell David. Sooner rather than later eh?” Regina was speaking, and Ruby was nodding on her other side. Mary Margaret hadn’t been paying attention to what they were saying but it was easy to guess they were talking about her. Instead of accepting their invitation, something she wished she could do, she felt herself grow angry. The anger that she felt had faded over the last couple of months and she was trying to take more control of her emotions, though she had found it difficult when she was growing another human inside her.

“You have some ideas? Good. Go ahead! Let’s see if you can suggest something I haven’t already tried.” She shrunk back as the women tried to hug her, angry tears forming in her eyes before they splashed down her cheeks. The fact that she was crying yet again only added fuel to the fire and she began to almost vibrate in anger.

“Mags if you need us to, we can be there with you. You don’t have to do this alone. David wont be mad when you tell him. He will just want to be there for you. We just want you to have a support system through all of this.”

The anger subsided and gave way to a feeling she could only describe as restless as she allowed the two closest people outside of her family to comfort her.

“I don’t… I can… I…” She twisted her fingers together as shw tried to put what she was feeling into words. “I can deal with the fact I’m sick. I don’t think that that is what I’m worried about. I know that if I tell him, he’ll want me to get treatment and I… I cant let that happen.”

“Wait what the hell Mags?” Ruby looked confused. You don’t want to get better?” Mary Margaret looked down at her barely there baby bump and stroked it with her hand, just once before she joined her hands again atop the table.

“Oh…” The noise was muttered from her other side before it was raised to direct at the other woman. “Ruby…” She shook her head when the lawyer looked at her. She tilted he head, glancing down at the bump that was just visible under her clothes.

“Oh.”

Sensing the gazes on her stomach she dropped her hand again, bringing comfort somehow from the motion of her thumb rubbing the top of her bump.

“David always wanted loads of kids. He was so excited at the idea of this one. I cant take that away from him now.. it’s too late.” She shrugged, leaning her head back against the wall behind her. Her hands were cradling her stomach and she realised then it was the first time she’d actually embraced the life within her.

The disapproving voice came from her left again and Mary Margaret began to feel frustrated towards her friend.

“Maggie, the thing that David would want most, would be for you to survive. To raise your child together. You need to get treated. You need to plan to survive.”

“No, you don’t get it. I’m going to get treatment. After the baby is born. I can’t risk anything happening to it… I just need to get through these next few months and then everything will be fine. I can worry about the rest when I’ve had the baby.” She nodded to herself as if it was that simple.

The snort of disagreement came again from Ruby. “Mary Margaret Nolan, are you insane? David wants his wife to stay alive. If you hd to give him the choice there is no way that he would choose the baby over you. You can always have more children.”

The anger that had been building towards her best friend exploded as she turned to her in hostility. She opened her mouth to retailiate but Regina beat her to it.

“Ruby!” Regina’s indignant snap shocked Mary Margaret and she jumped, her hand flying to her chest. Ruby wasn’t deterred as she pressed on, her love towards her friend causing her to say things she wouldn’t usually.

“What?! I’m sorry if that is insensitive but Maggie knows that if she does this… if she doesn’t make it then the husband and child she already has will not survive!” She spoke to Regina, as if Mary Margaret was not there and the smaller woman ducked her head, looking sideways at the other patrons of the coffee shop, noticing most if not all of them were staring at them. Some had varying looks of concern and pity with others shaking their heads at the distruption to their day.

“Stop. The pair of you. I cannot take this, anymore. I didn’t want to drag anyone into this, especially if you are going to act like this. I just wanted to have the baby and then see what happened but…” She paused, trying to work out what she wanted to say. “I don’t want you two to have to watch me suffer. I am having this baby if it kills me.” She knew it was a risky joke but she could see the tears in the eyes of her boss and usual confidant.

“Gina, you know I have to do this. For David. For my family.” She had no more tears to cry but she took her hand in both of hers, turning her back slightly on Ruby while she addressed the woman who she had grown up in school with. “I’m still going to go to work and I’m going to raise my daughter and then when I have had this baby, I am going to fight like hell to stay with them. You know that, don’t you?” Regina merely nodded and wrapped her friend in her arms, holding on tight. Neither of them were willing to let the other go, until Ruby placed her hand on her back, drawing them back to the present.

She turned to face the other woman, frustration and anger long gone as she realised she didn’t want to be fighting with the few people that cared about her and knew her secret. She couldn’t seem to stop the feelings that were swelling inside her.

“Rubes… I know that you disagree with what I am doing. I also know that there is no way you would want me to risk your godchild, would you?” Ruby narrowed her eyes at the pregnant woman, looking down to her stomach and back again.

“You can’t just…”

“I can’t what? I can’t emotionally blackmail you? But you can do it to a sick, pregnant woman. You can tell me to kill my baby to save myself? Do you think I would ever do something like that Ruby?” She stood abruptly, the additional weight on her stomach pushing the table away from her a little.

“You can’t just leave…” Ruby stood up as Mary Margaret moved to leave. “Maggie, please. Don’t go, I’m sorry. You know I’m just worried about you. My grandmother… she tried to hide it from me at first and I… I never resented her for it but it was difficult you know. I… We… we just want you to be okay.”

Mary Margaret had taken a few steps before she turned back to the table she had vacated. “The life I am growing inside of me is destroying me, Ms Lucas. That is never going to be okay.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger for this one. Also reminder it is medically inaccurate because it started from a dream.

David didn’t know what was going on with his wife. He didn’t know what would make it better. All he knew was that something was bothering her and that she wouldn’t tell him.

His wife had cherished being pregnant with Emma, but it seemed like this time she was much more reticent. The woman had been withdrawn, not just with dealing with the pregnancy but in the way that she interacted with their daughter. She still did the usual maternal things, cooking for, helping to bathe, reading bedtime stories to the little girl, and she would hug the six year old whenever she wanted, but she was hesitant to really enjoy her time with the child.

It was the same with David. She was acting like a wife and mother. Somewhat affectionate. Dutiful even. But she wasn’t as loving as she usually was. She was withdrawn. And Emma had sensed it too.

She had returned from her 24 week appointment she had gone straight up to bed, almost not noticing Emma who was stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her. Emma had run straight to her daddy in tears, asking him why her mommy was mad at her. David had gone up to check on his wife, worried that something was wrong with the baby.

“Maggie… are you okay?” David asked cautiously, concerned that something had happened at the hospital that was making her upset. He was worried about the baby, but first and foremost concerned about his wife.

“Fine.” Her response was short but her tone was wary. She looked down at her phone that she was twisting in her hands.

“Did the doctor…”

“There’s nothing wrong with the baby.” The woman snapped at her husband before glancing at him apologietically. “I promise. I’m sorry.” He sighed as she looked back at her hands, effectively dismissing him and he left the room. He was about to go downstairs when he realised the way that his wife had stressed ‘the baby’ and he frowned, turning back to face her.

“Maggie… I love you. I care about you and I’m just worried. Are you okay? What did the doctor say?”

Mary Margaret frowned at the worry in his tone and held out her hand for him to take, wanting him to sit with her so she could garner some comfort from him. He was by her side in an instant and as soon as she felt his arms around her, she relaxed into his embrace, sinking against his chest. Even with everything that was going on, even when they were annoyed or frustrated with each other, they never failed to bring each other comfort when it was needed.

“They just did a scan. It was fine, baby is healthy. All 10 fingers and toes.” She shifted in his arms, reaching for her purse to pull out what she was looking for. The scan of their child was tucked carefully into an envelope and she handed it to David who took it carefully, reverently, as if it was their physical child. “They were a bit concerned about my blood pressure again, but they said she’s fine, there’s nothing to worry about. I swear.” David shifted and squeezed his wife tighter, joy clear on his face.

“It’s a girl?”

Mary Margaret smiled hesitantly, enjoying the feel of his arms around her, not wanting to let it go. “I don’t know. They didn’t say. It feels like a girl…” She took his hand from where it was on her waist and moved it to a spot under her navel, where the babies foot lay. “It feels like how Emma felt, and I don’t want to call it ‘it’.” She turned to face him as he kept a hold of her, shifting his grip to her hip as he held her close. “Do you… want a girl?” She was insecure that, if he did, and she was carrying a boy, he would not be able to bond with him, especially if she was not around to keep an eye on them.

“You know I want nothing more to havehappy, healthy babies with you Maggie. Emma would love a brother as much as I would love a son, and she’d adore a sister as much as I’d love another mini-you. All I want is you and me raising beautiful babies together.” He mistook her watery eyes of fear for those of happiness and kissed her soundly, stroking the side of her stomach before standing. “I’ll leave you to take a nap sweetheart. Emma wanted to help make dinner, so I’ll get her to come get you when it’s ready.”

Mary Margaret shook her head, moving to sit against the head board as she pulled the duvet over her. “No, tell her to come in here and give her mommy a cuddle. Maybe daddy can collect some snacks and we can have a picnic in bed?” David was quick to agree and called out to their daughter as he left the room, ready to send his little girl upstairs.

Maggie was alone for no longer than 60 seconds, but the fact she was on her own caused a sudden feeling of numbness to expand in her chest. Seeing her husband smile, seeing the joy on his face at the picture of their child, it had warmed her heart, just barely. She tried to keep her thoughts from straying until the six year old ran into the room with a smile, her eyes red-rimmed from her earlier tears. She launched herself at the woman sitting on the bed and Mary Margaret caught her, pulling her in tight hug.

“Mommy, daddy said we’re having a picnic and that we can watch movies in bed.” The brunette nodded against Emma, stroking her long curls that had fallen down her back as she jumped on the bed.

“We’re gonna have a slumber party princess. I’ve missed our Sunday morning snuggles.” Emma leaned further into her mother, closing her eyes as she burrowed down. Mary Margaret pulled her close, pulling the duvet to cover her too. Emma had quickly fallen asleep, and Maggie decided it was better to allow her to take a nap for a little time before they ate.

The woman revelled in the warmth of the hold from her daughter, and was grateful for the quiet, while she could hear David pottering around downstairs. Emma’s arm moved in her sleep, from across her chest, down to touching her stomach. Mary Margaret smiled as the little hand bounced on her belly, the baby pressing against the palm that warmed her skin. She leaned down to press a kiss to her daughters hair, covering her hand where it lay.

She couldn’t deny that she was already head over heels in love with her two children, and she knew that David felt the same, and would, no matter what. Her appointment at the hospital, where she’d been almost ambushed by Doctor Hopper after some blood test results had come back that concerned him. He had informed her at the appointment that it is unlikely they would be able to offer any surgical solution that wouldn’t be too dangerous for the baby. He had mentioned however, two possible types of chemotherapy that could be an option while she was pregnant; something which she’d turned down as soon as he’d advised her of the risks to the baby. She had sat in the uncomfortable chair, a dispproving Doctor Whale sat beside Doctor Hopper and she had wished for nothing more than her husband beside her, holding her hand and helping her fight.

A solitary tear fell as she thought about the fact she had yet to face the pain of telling her husband and she wiped it away quickly as she heard David’s heavy steps on the stairs. She leaned her head against the top of Emma’s, closing her eyes as she pretended to be asleep before David walked in. He appeared in the doorway a moment later smiling at the sight of his wife and daughter cuddled together, asleep. He placed the actual picnic basket he had packed on the ground and joined his family. Mary Margaret sensed him beside the bed as he leaned down to kiss Emma’s forehead, something he did every night, or every time he saw she was asleep. She felt his prescence as he leaned over to her, feeling his hand on her stomach before his lips touched hers.

She blinked as if he had woken her, and smiled shly as she saw how he was gazing down at her. She shifted away from Emma’s still sleeping body to wrap her arms around David, burying her face in his neck as he lifted her slightly from the bed. Stretched in an uncomfortable position, she wrapped her arms more tightly around him, locking her ankles behind his back when he lifted her properly into his arms. He sat down on the chaise at the bottom of the bed, Mary Margaret settling into his lap as he shifted so they were both comfy. She clung to him like a koala, unwilling to let go for as long as he was willing to hold her. She simply sat with her head leaning on his shoulder, as he rubbed her back, the two of them watching their little girl as she slept.

Feeling serene for the first time in a number of weeks, Mary Margaret nestled closer to him, pressing a kiss to his chin from the position she was in. “David…”

“What is it sweetheart?” He could hear the hesitation in her tone and hoped that she was finally ready to share what had appeared to be troubling her for so long. He peered down at her, rubbing his nose against hers at her bashful smile.

“I just… I love you, you know that?” She said it as a statement but it came out as a question and David frowned at her. He knew that she knew it and that she wasn’t questioning it, but he was concerned about what was to follow. It was never a good follow up with that question.

“I know that sweetheart, and you know I love you too.” He left no room for questioning as she nodded, hiding her face in his shoulder like Emma did when she was upset. “Maggie look at me please. Is there something you want to tell me?” Mary Margaret nodded. She didn’t feel ready but she had already started and didn’t know how to stop.

“David…”

“Daddy?”

David almost pouted as his wife and daughter addressed him at the same time. He was so close to learning what was upsetting his wife, and it was sod’s law that Emma would wake up at that exact moment. He looked to his daughter as he felt his wife relax in his arms and he frowned to himself when he realised just how hesistant she was at telling him what was bothering her. Emma had sat up in the middle of the bed and was watching her parents with interest.

“Mommy, can we watch movie and have snuggles now?” David kept hold of Mary Margaret as she lifted her head and nodded at the little girl.

“Sure baby. Daddy made snacks so we’re going to have a picnic in bed.” She took a deep breath, calming her heart rate that had increased before she pushed back off her husbands lap, climbing back onto the bed with Emma. Emma instantly settled next to her again and patted the bed impatiently, looking at David.

“Hurry up daddy.”

Mary Margaret grinned up at her husband, tilting her head towards the picnic basket in the doorway.

“Yeah, hury up daddy. Mommy and her babies are hungry. We want snacks and cuddles.” David rolled his eyes in mirth as Emma giggled and in a moment the basket was at the bottom of the bed and he was sat beside his family, lifting his arm to wrap around the love of his life as Emma scampered to the bottom of the bed to look at what he had packed.

The little girl handed her mother the box of lemon cookies she had purchased the day before, and went back to the basket, picking up the sliced melon pot, handing it to her father. A third time she made her way to the box and sat in front of it, legs crossed before she pulled out a ham sandwich and a banana. She placed them in her lap, taking a juice box next and piercing it with a straw. Mary Margaret watched their daughter as she bounced up and down for a moment, clearly excited to spend the afternoon with her parents in this way. She stroked her stomach, feeling the baby pushing against her hand.

She glanced at David and saw him watching her curiously and she stuck her tongue out at him and pointed to the remote, silently telling him to choose a movie for them to watch.

“Emma, bring the basket up here honey, we’re gonna put a movie on and we have to be sat together.” Emma turned at her mothers voice and nodded excitedly, flinging the banana and the saran-wrapped sandwich at the woman to catch, dragging the basket heavily up the bed to place it in front of David. She quickly settled into position and before long the movie was playing and the three were watching intently, snacking at what David had packed.

Obviously Emma fell asleep first, and the pair decided to allow her to just stay where she was, curled up between them on the bed as they put a movie on that wasn’t Disney or Pixar. The picnic basket was moved to the floor and the two were holding hands above where Emma was laying as they settled in to the comedy movie that neither really had an interest in.

About halfway through their second choice, David lay down fully, pulling the comforter over himself to avoid jostling his sleeping daughter, ready to let sleep claim him. He squeezed Mary Margaret’s hand and she smiled briefly at him, enthralled in the ‘based on a true story’ movie, and he closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep.

When the movie finished, Mary Margaret switched off the tv, pulling closed the blinds as she settled on her side. David was snoring and Emma, who had been moving around in her sleep, was now starfished in the middle of the bed.

Emotions had been swirling around inside her since she had returned from the hospital, and although it had been an enjoyable evening, now they were sleeping, her nausea had returned. She had been so close to telling him her biggest secret earlier and now she was sure that if she didn’t tell him soon, he’d find out in some other way and it would not go well.

Mary Margaret sighed, trying to work out if it was best to just come out with it, or if she should take him to the doctor, or what way would be best. Checking he was properly asleep she decided to practice, knowing that if she could get the words out when he was asleep, she might be able to just say it when he was awake.

“David… I have cancer.”

The words felt foreign to her as she spoke them, she hadn’t properly said them to anyone else yet. It didn’t make her feel better like she hoped. If anything it made her feel worse, and the pain that clenched her heart caused her to close her eyes for a second, not noticing when David’s own twitched.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse my ignorance about elementary school curricula. Not only did I go to school in England but I also did that level about 14 years ago so this is all from google. Trigger.

“Yes, Evelyn?”

“Is it 280?”

“Well done Evie, it is indeed. Now, ten seconds, can anyone multiply 13 and 21?”

The young woman looked around the class as about ten students raised their hands.

“263” A young boy spoke when the teacher nodded at him and he frowned at his friends who snickered at his incorrect answer.

“Not quite Jake, but good effort. Can anyone else help Jake out?” A petite blonde spoke out before Mary Margaret had a chance to call on her and the teacher frowned at the sneer on her face.

“It’s actually 273 Jacob, you added incorrectly.” She turned back to face the front, simpering at her teacher with a smug grin. Mary Margaret nodded once, internally cringing. She hoped her daughter would never turn out that impolite.

“Correct Jennifer, though remember we raise our hand during class time.” She turned back to the board as the little girl pouted, crossing her arms as she sulked. Mary Margaret glanced up at the clock, seeing there were still 10 minutes left to afternoon recess. The woman was exhausted, having had to work through her free period to cover a sick teacher, and then having to do playground duty over lunch as another member of staff had had to leave the school grounds.

A wave of nausea caused Mary Margaret to bend at the waist with a groan, leaning against the smartboard with her hand then her forehead.

“Mrs Nolan are you okay?” She waved a hand behind her in reply, not wanting to speak and get sick in front of twenty 9 and 10 year olds. She heard the whispering start behind her and she stood straight, turning to sit on the chair at her desk. She saw one of her favourite students rise from her own seat and approach the desk. She repeated the question, this time whispering. “Mrs Nolan should I get the nurse?”

She took a deep breath through her nose and out her mouth, three times before nodding, trying to calm her nausea to address the class. “Yes please Tilly. Then please go and see Principal Mills and ask her to come.” She paused, taking another breath. “The rest of you, silent reading until the bell. When the bell goes, leave quietly and enjoy your recess.

The whispering from the class increased until it was full-on talking as Tilly took the classroom pass and left the room, until Mary Margaret blew the whistle she kept at her desk for recess, and the kids all fell silent. Unable to keep her eyes open anymore, the teacher folded her arms on the desk and lay her head upon them. It seemed like mere seconds later when she was being poked gently on the shoulder.

“Maggie… wake up.” She lifted her head and frowned at the woman stood in front of her.

“I wasn’t sleeping… The room is spinning I cant…” She looked past the principal at the class and noted it was empty, aside from Tilly and Regina’s son Henry, sat at their desks watching their teacher worryingly. She sat up straighter, shooting a look of apology at Regina. The older woman knelt beside her friend as the nurse tightened a cuff to check her blood pressure. “Maggie, Matilda said that you suddenly became unwell in class and Henry informed me that today wasn’t the first time that you’ve had to temporarily stop class due to sickness..?”

Mary Margaret looked away from the people that were looking pitingly at her. The nurse muttered as she checked Mary Margaret’s temperature, causing Regina to peer over a the findings, turning to the two children, dismissing them quickly before standing from her spot.

“We need to get you to the hospital I think dear, I’m concerned given…” She shot a look at the nurse and back to her friend who shrugged, the pain she had been feeling gone enough that she could at least sit up straight.

“Well I guess it would be helpful if the school nurse knew… I’m six months pregnant.” She gestured to her front as the nurse nodded kindly, moving to the other side to help her stand. “Oh and I have cancer, which I am not currently receiving treatment for.” She figured it best to just say it instead of beating around the bush. The grip on her arm loosened and Mary Margaret looked to Regina who looked shocked at her blasé tone.

“Oh Mrs Nolan I’m so…” Mary Margaret stood supported between them, and shook her head, not wanting the nurse to feel obligated to say anything. She stepped back from the pair, feeling stable enough to stand for herself and smiled uneasily at the pair.

“It’s… It’s not okay but I have learned to accept it. It’s been 8 months, I’ve had time to process.” Regina could not comprehend what was going on in her best friends head, but she was shocked at the nonchalant attitude and demeanour. Mary Margaret was looking at her strangely and she took a second to school her features into a less stunned façade. The young teacher turned to the nurse with a wry smile. “I’m okay now, really. I feel better. If it happens again, I’ll go to the walk-in. Thankyou though.” With a glance to her boss, the principal, she waited for the nod before walking from the room. She didn’t want to get involved in the conversation that she could tell was about to take place.

“Maggie are you sure?” The teacher sat down heavily, elbows on the desk as she rested her forehead on her steepled hands.

“I can’t go to the hospital right now. The kids have one class left.”

“You know that’s not what I mean… Mary Margaret… how are you so… casual about this? Did you… does David know?”

Mary Margaret looked up at her, eyes filled with tears, as once again, whenever she was talking about her illness, her baby kicked. “I told him last week.”

Regina’s eyes widened as she moved some papers from the desk, perching on it to sit next to her employee and friend. “How did he… what did he say?”

“…” She opened her mouth to speak but struggled to find the words, not sure how her boss would react. “He was sleeping… I tried okay. I know what I said but I don’t know how I can tell him. It’s too late now. I spoke to my doctor last week. He said surgery can’t happen which means it has to be chemo which is what I have been trying to avoid all this time. I can wait until she is born to get treatment. I just don’t think I can wait until she is born to tell her dad that I’m dying.”

Regina was at a loss for words, as she wrapped her arms around her close friend, both of them starting to cry. They held each other, both trying to comfort the other for a few minutes until the bell signalling the end of recess rang out. Regina pulled away from the woman, holding her shoulder while the other woman wiped her eyes. “We’ll work it out. I’ll be there for you when you tell him and I’ll be there to help you both through it. You’re not doing this alone okay?” Mary Margaret nodded silently, checking with her phone that she was presentable before her kids came back in the classroom. “Wait for me here after the final bell. I’ll pick Emma up from her classroom and we’re going to go get you checked out, and then we’re going to talk to David.” The woman remained silent, nodding and stood when the door creaked open, Tilly poking her head through.

“Can we come in Mrs Nolan?”

“Yes Matilda, thankyou from your patience. 4N, come in and take your seats. Silently please.” Regina spoke for Mary Margaret, the principal knowing that the class would be confused about what happened before the break, and curious about what was going on. “As a special treat, and as some preparation for the upcoming French test you have soon, Mrs Nolan will be showing ‘_Le Dîner de Cons’ _and I want you all to pay attention to the dialogue. It will help with your oral presentations and your speaking and listening tests. When the bell rings, I want you to pack up quietly and leave, and have a good evening.” With a final nod, she turned to leave, gesturing for Henry to follow her out the room.

Mary Margaret busied herself with setting up the movie and had it ready to play when Henry entered the room. Her phone buzzed on her desk as she sat back down and she saw a text from Regina, informing her that Henry was going to be keeping an eye on her during the period, and so to aware if she catches him on his phone. Mary Margaret sighed and put her phone down, not willing to respond. The movie started, and she made sure to have the english subtitles on as it began to play. With a glace around the room at the students all absorbed in the movie, she pulled out a notepad and began to write, using her phone for access to the internet.

The class remained quiet for the rest of the period until the bell rang, and the noise came as a shock to Mary Margaret who put her detailed notes down, standing to dismiss the class. They filed out quietly, Henry staying behind for a few more minutes until Regina turned up in the doorway. She smiled kindly at her son, hugging him as he passed her. “Your father is picking you up after soccer practice. I’ll be home later and we’ll order in okay? Tell your father I’ll explain later.” The little boy nodded and left the room, Mary Margaret’s eyes misting over at the display of maternal love between mother and son. She cradled her stomach, thinking about what her family would be like with a son.

She remained lost in her thoughts until Regina was once again by her side, rubbing the arm that wasn’t caressing her stomach.

“You ready to go dear?” Mary Margaret nodded, packing her phone and the notes she had made into her purse, leading the way out of the classroom. The first stop was Emma’s classroom and the little girl was waiting for her mother in the doorway of her classroom. She joined the two women and walked between them, taking both of their hands. When they got to the car, Mary Margaret strapped her daughter in and shut the door before turning to her friend.

“I’m not going to the hospital. I cant worry about that now. I need to work out how to tell David, and I need your help. Let’s go for a coffee, talk, and then… then I guess it’s time.” Regina nodded in understanding and hugged her friend briefly before holding out her hand for the keys.

“I wont force you to go to the hospital Maggie, but I am not risking four lives if you have another spell while driving like you did earlier.” The younger woman simply shrugged and moved around to the passenger side, settling in with a glance back at Emma. She kept eye contact with her daughter in the rear mirror for most of the drive and smiled back at her whenever she did.

The woman could tell that her daughter was beginning to understand that things were not quite right. She knew she would be able to understand and remember her if she, at one point, never came home and the thought scared her more than the thought of never actually coming home. She knew at least that the new baby would likely never know her to miss her, but that thought quickly led onto one of David, and how he would be affected by her going. A hand on her arm caused her to stop staring into space and look at her friend beside her who was watching her with concern, stopped in a queue of traffic.

“You okay?” She mouthed the words, glancing in the mirror herself at the small child who was now distracted with the books in her bookbag.

“I… I’m just in my own head. I keep thinking about…” She caressed her stomach again. Instead of fear, it now bought her comfort; at least until her thoughts took their usual path and reminded her of her children’s lives without her. “I don’t know how to explain to Emma what’s going on. I know David will be there to help me but... she’ll know. She’ll understand. She’ll think I left her on purpose.” Regina looked towards the traffic and seeing they were unlikely to move any time soon, turned in her seat to face the teacher.

“You are talking like you’re definitley going to… leave… Maggie. But that may not be the case. I think the first thing David will want to do is speak with your doctor and work out the options. Then he will support you with whatever option you choose. You don’t have to worry Maggie. You’re not in this alone, just like you wont be leaving your family alone.” The traffic moved before Mary Margaret could reply and she turned to look out the window as Regina set off again, pondering what had just been said. She didn’t talk again until they arrived at the soft-play centre that Regina had chosen. Emma could play, and the adults could talk; at least that was the plan.

They sat quickly, warning Emma to be careful and to come back when they called her. She couldn’t get out of the building without passing a security door and there was a medic on hand in case she was injured so the pair knew they could sit and talk properly. When they had their drinks in front of them, Mary Margaret pulled her list out of her purse, showing Regina the pros and cons of the different possible treatments she could have. She knew she probably wouldn’t get to choose but was happier to know her options.

They talked for about half an hour before Emma ran over to them, asking for a drink. When she put the cup of juice down, Regina turned back to her employee and friend.

“I think you just need to go home and tell him Maggie. The words don’t really matter. It’s just telling him… Let him know whats been happening and that’s the first step over. Let Emma wear herself out here and then you don’t have to worry about her while you’re dealing with him. It’s as simple as, ‘I have cancer, David’. Mary Margaret nodded, eyes downcast as she thought about how that evening could change everything. “The most important thing is that David becomes aware, okay? Anything else we can sort out later.” She knew Regina was right. It was time.

Emma had tired herself out. When they got home she was dozing, but when they got in the house she was determined to stay awake and spend time with her mommy. David was due home soon enough, and so Emma had asked Mary Margaret to help cook dinner. She was sat on the counter stirring the pasta sauce when she spoke up,scaring Mary Margaret with the words she said.

“Mommy, what’s cancer?” The woman frowned and dropped the pan she was holding heavily onto the kitchen island. She turned, unsure of what to say.

“It’s like when you fall over and you bang your knee, and you get a booboo. Except cancer is on the inside. And when you have tummy ache that makes you feel icky. Cancer makes you feel icky too.” Emma stopped stirring as she thought about what she had been told, shifting to the edge of the counter to climb down on the stool. Mary Margaret watched her with a sad smile, sure now, more than ever that Emma was too smart for her own good. When she was planted firmly on the ground, she looked back at her mother, another question forming on her lips.

“And why does Auntie Gina say you have to tell daddy?”

Tell daddy what sweetheart?” Mary Margaret and Emma both turned to face the voice in the doorway, Emma squealing excitedly when she saw her daddy was home. She ran and jumped at him, hugging his neck tightly when he lifted her up. She glanced back at her mommy, a proud look on her face, as if she was helpful; hopeful.

“That mommy has cancer.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it need to be said?

David frowned at his daughter before rolling his eyes at Mary Margaret, a cautious grin on his face.

“Don’t be silly sweetheart. Where did you hear that word; TV?”

Emma glanced between her parents, confused about what was going on. Not wanting to see the look on her husbands face when it was confirmed, Mary Margaret hung her head. “No daddy… mommy told Auntie Gina.” Her face was one of innocence as she looked back to the woman in question, as if she wanted her to make it clear she wasn’t lying to her daddy. “Right mommy?”

Mary Margaret sniffed, trying to hold back the tears she knew would fall as soon as she saw the look on David’s face. Her silence was enough.

“Maggie?” It was a tone that she had never heard from him before. Sad. Questioning. Begging. All with that one word. “Maggie what is Emma talking about?” He put the girl on the ground, patting her shoulder when his wife didn’t answer. “Go play in your room duckling, I’ll bring dinner later.” She had the look on her face that she usually did when she thought she was in trouble. “You’re not in trouble, but mommy and daddy have to have a talk.” The girl was out of the room and David was in front of Mary Margaret in the next breath.

“What is our six year old talking about Mary Margaret?” The tense tone caused her stomach to roil and she looked up at him, scared of what she might see. She knew when he called her that,

“In my defence…” She averted her gaze as his eyes flashed.

“I need you to look at me and tell me what exactly is going on.”

“Technically… Emma is right.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw him lift a hand and she shrunk back from him, backing into the refrigerator with a thud. She grunted at the impact of the handle in her back and shifted so she was solidly leaning against the appliance. He frowned at the fear that crossed her face and stretched to touch her arm, sliding his hand down to take her hand, his other resting on her stomach.

“Maggie, I’m going to need more information than ‘our child was the one who informed me my wife has a terrible illness, and my wife kept it from me; end of story’. His throat caught halfway through the sentence and his voice became hoarse as he properly considered the words that had been sent. Cancer was a big word. A scary word. Hearing it in connection to his pregnant wife was downright terrifying.

“Maggie how long have you known? If Principal Mills knows, I’m assuming Ruby knows? And Emma?!” His voice rose when he mentioned their daughter, as if he couldn’t understand. “Why does our daughter know before me? Why does anyone? When were you going to tell me?”

“You have to believe me David, I was going to tell you today. I just… didn’t know how. Emma beat me to it.” She sidestepped him as she realised the sauce she had been making was burning.

“Okay. I can understand it being difficult to share… but how long have you known though, when did you find out? I know it can’t have been today so…”

Mary Margaret hesistated again, her back to her husband as she contemplated her next words. He knew now. He would find out when they saw the doctor. Lying would only make it worse. She might as well just come out and say it.

“8.”

She heard a chair scrape across the floor, and the thud as he sat heavily at the table. She could feel the tension in the room, it was making her bones ache, and there was a dull pain in her back where she had hit it.

“You’ve known for a whole week and you didn’t tell me? That doesn’t make sense Maggie. Why would you keep something like this from me? Why didn’t you…”

“Eight months.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

The silence in the room was deafening. She didn’t dare turn to face her husbnad. In fact she was pretty sure she couldn’t if she tried. She was frozen. She could almost hear the cogs turning in his head as he absorbed the information. She heard a gasp, and she knew he’d worked out what she was dreading.

Neither of them said a word. The faint noises of Emma playing on her tablet could be heard, but aside from that, it was as if both of them were holding their breath, waiting for the other to speak.

“Maggie… tell me that you have not known this the whole time that you have been pregnant.”

“…”  
The woman refused to move. Refused to speak. She knew that doing either one would cause her to break down, something she could not afford to do. This was it; she thought. She’d left it to long. And now the thing she feared most; losing her family; was about to come true.

David tried again. He didn’t know how to feel, what to say. He would say that the news had made him numb, had a viscious pain not gripped his heart as soon as it had been confirmed. It hurt to breathe. To talk. To think. “Baby, please talk to me. I can’t… I can’t just hear this news and let it go. I need to know everything. I could have helped you Maggie, we could have been dealing with this together!” He didn’t mean to shout, and he regretted it as soon as her shoulders began to shake. He was just still trying to process this, trying to work out how to function now he knew.

Instead of trying to work out how to make her move, make her talk, he moved to her. He felt her shy away when he tried to turn her around. He saw the anxiety in her face when she finally made eye contact with him. He felt a tightening in his gut as she stepped away from him; shaking; as if she was barely holding herself together.

He wasn’t going to let this be their story. He wasn’t allowing this to break them apart. They had a fight ahead of them; and they would be stronger together. He wouldn’t risk their family being split up unless it was absolutely unavoidable.

“Mags please. I just found out my wife is sick and she’s been dealing with it alone for long enough. I just want to hold her and never let go. Can you let me do that?” Again; not a word was spoken, but the small step towards him made his heart unclench just a little.

She’d let him hold her, but it hadn’t lasted long. Emma had needed feeding, dishes cleaning and more talking required that couldn’t be done while they were both gripping the other as if; if they let go; they’d disappear.

So Emma had been fed, bathed and put to bed, the dishes had been cleaned and put away. The adults had argued about whether Mary Margaret should eat ‘for the baby’ and they had ended the argument when Mary Margaret had not so tactfully mentioned that if one thing was going to harm them, skipping a meal was not it. They’d stopped talking; not wanting to fight anymore; until they’d gone to bed. Mary Margaret was sat on the bed as she changed, while David was closing the blinds. He gasped as he turned to face his wife, seeing a large bruise in the centre of her back. “Maggie… what the hell?” He moved quickly over to the bed and gently traced the mark with the tips of his fingers. “Does that not hurt?” She cringed away from his touch when he poked a little harder; not wanting to hurt her but wanting to work out where it was from.

“A little… It’s fine. I bruise easily lately and…” She turned to look at his face, easily reading what was written on his face. “It’s not your fault David. I could have been more careful.” He wasn’t moving this time, and it was her turn to comfort him. His eyes flashed and his jaw clenched as he considered everything that he had seen and heard today. Mary Margaret moved up onto her knees, wrappingher arms around his shoulders and holding him close, as much as she could with the baby between them. “We should get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning.”

They didn’t sleep.

Mary Margaret pretended to. She didn’t want David to worry that she wasn’t sleeping and so she turned on her side, away from her husband, and closed her eyes. David didn’t attempt to try. He lay on his back and then his side, and then on his front, shifting every ten minutes. The jostling made sure that Mary Margaret wasn’t sleeping, and after a couple of hours of tossing and turning, she turned to face him, opening her eyes to see him watching her. He looked tired, and she could feel her own exhaustion in her bones. It appeared that they couldn’t get away from having the talk.

“I’m sorry.”

David frowned at his wife, shifting closer to her as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She searched for his other hand, gripping it tightly. They both felt more comfortable with some kind of grip on the other.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. It’s not your fault is it?”

“No, you don’t understand… I was… I didn’t… I…” She stuttered. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to say it, it was that she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to explain her mindset when she’d made the decision not to tell him what was going on. “I have to explain… I probably wont make sense but I want you to try and listen okay… I’ll answer every question you have when I’m done but… just let me talk. I’ve kept this from you for long enough and I can’t anymore.”

She smiled when her husband nodded, and she took a deep breath. She didn’t know how to formulate her thoughts and so decided to just talk, hoping the mess of words she spewed would make some kind of sense to him.

“When I first found out, I wanted to tell you that day. But every time I tried… I just pictured Emma’s face when we would have had to tell her. I pictured your reaction, and I just saw how sad she would be and how your life would be affected going forward and I just wanted to pretend it was all a dream. That I wasn’t sick and that we were a perfectly healthy, happy family.” She paused, knowing the next part of her explanation didn’t show her in the best light.

“Then when I collapsed and I found out we were pregnant...” She hesitated as his face changed, as if he was only then just remembering that event six months ago. She pressed on, not wanting to give him the opportunity to interrupt her. “I knew then. I don’t know what caused me to collapse but I did know that I had cancer when I found out. And then my whole focus was… not wanting to do anything to hurt her. I did a lot of research… mostly internet based… and I just didn’t think I could risk it. And I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to make me choose.” She closed her eyes as a strangled noise left his throat and his grip on her hip tightened. “I know, that was selfish of me, and it wasn’t my decision to make but… I know how much you wanted a big family and if it was a decision between sorting myself out and risking the baby… I couldn’t do that to you… to us. It didn’t seem real until I was pregnant and then when I was, it was too real and I couldn’t do that to my family. I just wanted to forget.”

“You mean you…”

“David, please… I asked”

“No Mary Margaret, hold on.” He shifted away from her, sitting up beside her. He didn’t want to be looking in her eyes and holding her during this conversation. “You can’t expect to tell me that you were diagnosed eight months ago and you haven’t been seeing a doctor. I mean… you’re an intelligent woman… you have to know how this sounds. The baby… I mean… What were you thinking?!” This time it was David struggling to find his words, and he wasn’t looking at her, knowing that she had started to cry, and not wanting it to break his resolve.

But instead of sad, her words were angry.

“I considered how pumping my body full of toxic chemicals could affect the baby David… I cant harm this innocent child, just to make myself better. You wanted more kids…”

“No, don’t you dare turn this around on me Mary Margaret. I did want more kids, but I wanted them with you. What is the point… of me loving you, of you loving me, of us having kids… when you die?” It was the first time either of them had said the word and it caused them both to stop. Mary Margaret heaved as she raised herself up, mirroring his position on the bed. They both didn’t know what to say, but the comment had caused the anger to bleed from both of them, leading only to what appeared to be despondency.

“From the time I met you and fell in love with you, I knew I wanted a big family. I wanted little girls who look like their mommy, who have her temperament and her wit. I wanted little boys who had her intelligence and fierce protective nature. I wanted it all, with you. What’s the point in having two kids like their mother, when I don’t have their mother to help me raise them?” He was frowning; troubled; but his tone was one of heartbreak. “I need you. Healthy. Happy. With me. With our kids. The babies can wait, do you understand me?”

Mary Margaret couldn’t speak if she tried. Her throat was dry, raw from silently crying and her lack of sleep as well as her current general health was causing her to ache in places she didn’t know could ache. “It’s too late David.”

“No… you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to make that decision for our family. We’re going to make an appointment with your doctor and we’re going to look at options. I’m not… We’re not ready to lose you Maggie.”

The room fell silent, and it appeared that the conversation was over. Uncomfrtable, Mary Margaret lay down, again turning away from her husband. He wasn’t offended, he knew laying on her left side was more comfortable, plus safer, for her. He wasn’t physically, but he was mentally exhausted, and they had said what they wanted to say. He lay down beside his wife and moved as close to her as he could, not willing to forgo the security the hold would bring them despite the situation.

Just as they were both about to fall asleep, David spoke once more. He was behind her and he pressed a kiss to the spot behind her ear, speaking just loud enough to hear.

“I don’t wanna do life without you now that I know what it is like with you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally don't wanna say it every chapter.

“I did it.”

“Maggie, I love you, but it’s 3am, I’m gonna need a little more information.” Mary Margaret giggled despite herself, clapping a hand over her mouth so she didn’t wake David.

“David knows.”

“Oh sweetheart, are you okay?” Regina sounded concerned on the other end of the line, and Mary Margaret frowned, already angry at herself for the way her issue was affecting her friends as well as her family.

“Well… Emma told him officially… but I did tell him everything else. We talked, we fought, we talked some more. He’s so tired though, I hate what this is doing to him in just 12 hours.” She paused when she heard Regina yawn on the other end of the phone. “I hate what this is doing to you all. I’m sorry for waking you up Gina.”

“Maggie, you are my friend, I want to be here for you. You know you can call me at any time no matter what. Are you okay?”

“It didn’t go great, but that was expected… I just wanted to call and let you know I wont be in tomorrow. David wants us to make an appointment with my doctor so we can discuss options so…” Mary Margaret heard Regina sigh and she began to apologise once again. “I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to email over some lesson plans in the morning, and I’ll be in early the next day to sort everything out. I have to do this for him though, I promised.”

“Maggie, I’m not annoyed. I just worry about you sweetheart. Call me tomorrow after the appointment, I can take Emma home for dinner so you and David can have some time to talk.” There was a pause but it was tense. “I have to get some more sleep dear, but I’ll speak to you soon.”

The call ended and she switched the bathroom light off as she left the room, crawling back into bed with her husband.

“’Ow’s R’gina?” Mary Margaret shook her head as she climbed back into bed, nestling into the arms he’d opened for her.

“She’s fine. I just told her I’m not gonna be in tomorrow. I’m going to call Doctor Hopper first thing. He’s probably expecting a call so.” She felt him nod into her neck, and after a minute he was sleeping again. Mary Margaret’s mind was racing, thoughts of her family and friends preventing her from being able to close her eyes and sleep. David, deep in sleep already pulled away from her and rolled over.

She began to feel warm and lifted the corner of the duvet, a similar wave of nausea like the previous day rolling through her. It would have knocked her to her knees had she not been laying down. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, willing the nausea away. It worked for a few minutes but came back, twice as bad as the first time. She waved her hand behind her, trying to reach David and wake him, unwilling to open her mouth to call out to him. She tried to turn, the movement causing an almost blinding dizziness as she punched him gently on the shoulder. No movement or noise from his side of the bed caused her to reach out again, swinging blindly as she tried to get his attention. Her closed fist hit his abdomen and he lurched awake, sitting up straight to see the moment his wife lunged forward on the bed, vomiting noisily on the floor. She began to cry at the experience, having always hated the feeling of being sick, and she pulled herself to an almost sitting position as she heaved. She felt David’s hand rubbing her back before he reached forward and turned on her bedside lamp, jumping up from the bed as he saw the chunks of blood that appeared to be covering their bedroom floor.

“Shit. Mags. Shit.” He froze for a moment, trying to work out what to do before he grabbed Mary Margaret’s phone from the table, dialling the number he knew would help.

“Mary Margaret, could this not wait until tomorrow? I already told you…” David had quickly pulled his wife’s hair into a ponytail as she tried to pull herself together, before picking up the phone and interrupting whatever was being said.

“Regina. I need you to come over and look after Emma.”

“David… what… what are you talking about?”

“Maggie is sick, Regina, she just got so sick and I can’t drag Emma to the hospital at this time.” His wife’s friend began to speak again, but he interrupted her, not having time to argue. “Listen please, can you get here? I’d call Ruby but she’s further away and I can’t… just please.”

On the other end of the line, the older woman was already up and pulling on a jacket. “I’m on my way David, I’ll be there soon. Just hang tight. Get Maggie ready and I’ll let myself in. Pack a bag. She’ll need it.” The call ended and David pulled the phone from his ear, staring at it until he saw his wife start to climb out of the bed. He moved around the mess on the floor and supported her as she stood, helping her into the bathroom at her point. She was burning up, and so he turned the shower on and sat her on the seat, letting the water run over her as he went to go and pack a bag for her, running downstairs quickly first to unlock the front door.

David had thrown some random items in the bag before his wife had called out for him, and he quickly made his way to her with a change of clothes for her. He had to help her dress; she was weak, tired, nauseous and every movement seemed to drain all of her energy. The front door opened as David was carrying Mary Margaret down stairs, not trusting her insability on the descent. He deposited her into Regina’s arms as he ran back upstairs for the bag, their phones and chargers, his jacket and wallet and anything else he could think they needed that he shoved into the bag. He hopped over the mess on the floor and closed his door behind him, already planning to call a professional service in the proper hours of the morning. He spared a glance at Emma’s room but was pulled away when Regina called up to him cautiously.

He was downstairs in moments and saw his wife sprawled on the sofa, leaning heavily on Regina as she tried to keep her semi-upright. Regina looked more than worried, she looked scared and that was enough to cause deep concern with David, knowing it took a lot to freak the stoic woman.

“Something is wrong David. She needs to be seen. Now. Immediately. I will take Emma to school. Call me when you know more. Just… get her seen okay?” He couldn’t bring himself to be frustrated at the way she was telling him what to do with his own wife, as he could see that she was only trying to help. He simply nodded and kissed her cheek as he carried his wife out of the house.

The journey to the hospital was worse than the time six months ago, David knowing that vomiting blood was not good normally, let alone when someone was sick and pregnant. The roads were quieter and he was making better time, but the way she was acting was concerning.

Arriving at the hospital at 4am was a different experience than the previous time. The ER was full of drunk people with some superficial injuries, and a few homeless people who wanted a place to stay for the night, and there was one member of staff sat behind the desk. This time Mary Margaret was awake enough to walk herself but it was obvious she was not well as she stumbled to the counter, supported mostly by David. The receptionist looked bored, and was focusing on whatever was keeping her attention on the screen, ignoring the pair as they stood in front of her.

“Excuse me?” The woman held up her finger, snapping the gum that she was chewing, and carried on ignoring the couple until the program she was watching, ended a few minutes later.

“How can I help you?” David was glaring at the woman while Mary Margaret was trying her best to stay awake.

“My pregnant wife has been vomiting blood.” The woman rolled her eyes and stood, looking Mary Margaret up and down as she held out the relevant form.

“A little blood in the vomit is not uncommon during pregnancy, and we are busy tonight, so fill this out and have a seat, we’ll get to you when someone becomes available.” She sat back down and clicked on her screen again, not noticing the glare coming from David. He slammed the form and clipboard down on the counter, seeing the woman jump at the noise.

“Excuse me, again.” His tone was sarcastic and angry. “My wife would like to see her oncologist please.” The woman’s eyes widened and she stood again, glancing around the room to check no more urgent cases had come in.

“I’ll just see if anyone is available. Take a seat for one second and I’ll get someone to come and see you.” The woman was flustered, it was clear, but David couldn’t bring himself to care. She was not demonstrating the necessary skills it took to work in healthcare and he knew if he were a different person he would have raised a grievance. He instead wanted to focus on his wife, who was looking sicker as time passed. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap, wanting to hold her close so she didn’t fall down. She leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes, trying to block out the sounds and the light that were causing her head to pound and her stomach to roll.

David rubbed her arm, having noted the goosebumps that littered her skin. She shivered as the doors opened and another pair of drunk people stumbled in. David looked around for the member of staff who had disappeared from the desk, seeing her walk in with someone who was wearing the scrubs he had previously seen doctors wearing. He approached the pair and Daivd watched as his eyes widened in recognition.

“Mrs Nolan?” David frowned as Mary Margaret startled. She opened her eyes and looked up at the man in front of him.

“Doctor Hopper? What are you doing here?” She glanced around blearily, looking confused about her surroundings. “What are we doing here?” David was instantly troubled that she didn’t appear to remember their travel to the hospital, and the reason behind it.

“Doctor Hopper, you’re Maggie’s oncologist?”

If the doctor was surprised that his patients husband knew who he was, he didn’t show it, even though she had told him at her most appointment only the week before that she still hadn’t told him. “I am. What brings you to the ER in the early hours?”

“Maggie was vomiting blood. And with everything… I thought it best to get her seen.”

Doctor Hopper nodded, and placed his two fingers and thumb on Mary Margaret’s wrist, checking his watch as he measured her pulse. When he was done counting he checked her eyes with a light before frowning in concern.

“Her pulse is weak and thready, so I’d like to get her admitted and hooked onto some monitors as soon as possible if that is okay. We’ll get her stable and then we can maybe discuss treatment options in the morning?” David simply nodded tiredly. He hated that his wife was so sick and he hoped that this was as bad as it would get. He hoped she would finally agree to some treatment to stop it from getting any worse. “I’ll call for a porter to bring her up to the ward, just let me just get Tamara to pull up her notes and I’ll add a referral.” He walked off before David or Mary Margaret could speak, and David stood, holding his wife up as she sagged against him. Realising she was too weak to hold her head up, let alone stand up for more than thirty seconds, he sat back down and pulled her back onto his lap, cringing at the feel of her clammy skin when she pressed her forehead into his neck.

When the porter arrived, David helped deposit his wife into the wheelchair, walking beside the chair as he doctor led the way upstairs. David hesitated in the doorway when they arrived at their destination, watching his wife as the nurses did what was necessary, attaching her to monitors and doing some tests. When the nurses were done taking bloods and cleaning up after Mary Margaret vomited once more, they left, only to return some minutes later with a cot and a blanket for David to try and sleep. They informed him that they would be taking his wife for more tests as and when the necessary machines were free and that he should try and get some sleep.

He didn’t.

He lay awake as his wife whimpered in pain in the bed next to him. He paced the room after the porter had collected her for some scans, waiting until she returned. He tossed and turned after a text from Regina informed him Emma was okay, that she had eaten breakfast and hadn’t fussed when she got to school. He had just dropped off to sleep as the on call oncologist came in to check the file that had been steadily increasing in size over the previous four hours.

“Good morning, Mrs Nolan. Mr Nolan.” He nodded at each of them in turn as he flicked through the notes. “Doctor Hopper asked me to advise you he will return late afternoon to discuss treatment options, and that our focus today should be finding the cause of the hematemesis and treating it as a matter of urgency.” He stopped addressing the pair and turned to the patient, David doing the same as he focused on his wife who looked only marginally better than she had in the early hours, now she was attached to the IV solution.

“Mrs Nolan, we’re going to need to take you for some more tests today and then when Doctor Hopper returns, he would like to speak to you, but as far as he made me aware, he’s going to want to keep you in for the foreseeable, until we can get some things cleared up.” Mary Margaret opened her mouth to respond and argue but David was up and by her side in that moment, taking her hand.

“It’s fine my love, everything will be fine, Emma and I will manage, we just have to focus on getting you better. That is the priority, okay?”

They shared a look, and the room was silent for a moment as the doctor looked on before the woman finally acquiesced with a frown. “I want to see Emma. I want to be the one to explain this to her. “ David sighed at the argumentative tone of her voice and shrugged, knowing it would be pointless to try and argue. He looked at his watch as the doctor ducked out of the room and reached out to cup her cheek, stroking hius thumb over her cheekbone until she calkmed down.

“I have to get to work sweetheart. I’ll return when Doctor Hopper is due back and if Emma has finished school by then, I’ll bring her in. Please just… don’t go anywhere Mags. Let them do what they need to do, don’t fight it.” He ignored the glare she shot him, and kissed her forehead before stepping back from the bed. “I’ll call you. Please be good, okay?”

Her glare quickly turned into a pout and she watched David as he made sure he had everything he needed before opening the door. He waved at her and was out of the door before he could convince himself to stay. Mary Margaret watched him leave, the aching feeling that was growing in her gut getting worse.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW

David had left work as soon as his boss allowed him, swinging by the school to pick Emma up, pausing to say a quick thank you to Regina who hugged him tightly and told him to keep her updated. He was back at the hospital less than 8 hours since he had left, and a quick check with the receptionist confirmed Mary Margaret was still where he had left her.

Emma had been confused when David had pulled into the hospital, but seemed to understand the situation quickly when she recognised where they were. “Daddy, is mommy sick again? Is she gonna sleep away again?” David glanced down at his little girl who looked so scared at the prospect of another night without her mother.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, mommy has a booboo that the doctors need to fix. She wants to talk to you though, so be a good girl and listen to what she has to say, and try not to get upset okay. Mommy is sad enough without her little duckling getting sad too.” Emma nodded, gripping David’s hand as they walked together upstairs. 

Mary Margaret had been flicking through the channels of the hospital TV during the times when they hadn’t been running any conceivable test on her. She was tired and feeling generally crappy and the only thing stopping her from breaking down and crying completely was the little one who seemed to sense her distress and was pressing against her hand when she was touching her stomach, and the thought of seeing her little girl and holding her tight. She had been informed about what they suspected to be the cause of her sickness, and they were currently working out a treatment plan for her. The doctor had informed her a way of telling for sure would be with a scope test but that there would be a risk to the foetus and so he was hesitant to perform it. His mention of risk caused Mary Margaret to instantly adamantly refuse it, even though she knew that David would probably have something to say about it when he arrived. She didn’t feel much better. She hadn’t vomited again but she had spotted blood in the tissue that she coughed into.

David had stopped a nurse in the hallway when they got to the right ward, and Emma had gone on ahead to the room she had been informed her mother was in. She pushed the door open a little and peeked in, frowning as she saw that her mother was crying. She pushed the door open wider and made her way over to her mother, climbing onto the bed with her.

“Mommy, is the booboo making you feel icky? I can kiss it better like you do mine?” Mary Margaret sobbed louder as she pulled her daughter into her arms burying her face in the soft blonde curls she loved so much.

“I’ve missed you so much little duckling. I’m so glad you’re here.” Emma was worried about her mommy but relaxed into the hug, believing that hugs were magical when someone was sad.

Emma’s hugs did appear to be magical, as Mary Margaret had stopped crying when David entered the room. He had received an update from the nurse and was concerned when he saw how upset his wife looked. He stepped up to the bed and wrapped his arms around them both, not asking any questions, just trying to bring some comfort he knew they all needed.

David stepped back from the two loves of his life, taking the hand that was rubbing up and down Emma’s back. He waited until Mary Margaret looked up at him from watching their daughter, and he smiled, leaning in for a kiss. The pair kissed as Emma clambered down from the bed, wanting to show her mother the picture she had drawn in art class. As she was distracted searching through her book bag, David used the opportunity to talk.

“How are you doing my love?” Mary Margaret shrugged, squeezing his hand as if to say ‘I’m okay’. “Has the doctor found what he was looking for?” He hoped she wouldn’t shrug again, and was glad when she shifted to lean closer to him, not wanting Emma to overhear.

“They think it’s an ulcer. Probably caused by a bacterial infection. They want to do a esophagagastruduodenoscopy…” She paused at the look on David’s face, and she couldn’t help but smile. “What? I’ve had a lot of time to practice saying it today.” David smiled at the humour in her voice. “Anyway. I said I’m not doing it.”

“Mags…” He said it in a warning tone, as if to remind her of what happened last time she didn’t do what was medically necessary. What was still happening.

She shook her head at his tone, pulling her hand free from his grip. “No David… the test, when pregnant can cause hypoxia, trauma, premature labour, teratogenesis…” At the confused look on his face, she clarified with a roll of her eyes. “Congenital malformations. She sighed, allowing it when David reached for her hand again, the thought of any harm coming to their baby bad for both of them. “I know our little one is almost fully cooked but… I don’t want to do anything to risk harm to her, more than I already have.”

The woman closed her eyes as David leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “I understand sweetheart. We wont do the test. I’m sure there is something else that can be done.” Mary Margaret was about to reply when Emma clambered back onto the bed, passing over the picture she had created. It was some semblance of people, with the six year old now being in the stage between stick figures and full shapes. There was the three of them, with a squiggle going outside the lines in the middle of the woman figure.

The picture was the same kind of standard that Emma usually produced, one that was treasured by her parents and that take pride of place on their fridge until the next one was ready to replace it. There was one glaring difference in this picture than the ones she usually drew. Mary Margaret looked at David, seeing him notice it too.

“Duckling… why have you drawn mommy with no hair?” Emma frowned, David’s tone making it sound like she’d done something wrong.

“I… Kylie said that her nana had cancer and she lost all her hair.” Her comment was very matter-of-fact and neither parent knew what to say. The little girl went from excited to show off her picture to somber as she considered everything. “She also said…” Mary Margaret sniffed as if she was trying not to cry, before tilting the little girls head up to look at her properly.

“What else did she say baby?”

“She said her nana died.” The little girl looked up at her mommy, her lower lip quivering. “Kylie said that you will too.” Mary Margaret looked heartbroken as she turned to her husband, looking at how he was reacting to the words. He reached for the smaller blonde, wanting to offer her the comfort they all needed, but she shied away from her fathers arms, scrambling towards her mother with a loud sob. Mary Margaret wanted to reassure their daughter that what they all feared was not going to happen, but she knew in good conscience that she couldn’t. She knew if she promised her daughter that she would not meet the same fate as an elderly woman with a terminal disease, and then she did, it would be something the little girl would always remember.

“Whatever happens my little duckling, I am always going to love you. Until my last breath and beyond.” She chanced a glance at David and saw him try and wipe the tears from his eyes, not wanting any evidence of his supposed weakness. She wrapped one arm around her daughter and blindly reached for her husband, wanting to convey the same message to him. “You, and the baby and your daddy are the best things that ever happened to me my sweet girl, and I’m gonna be very brave and fight my hardest so that I can be with you all for as long as you’ll have me.”

The words didn’t mean much to the child, but the look on David’s face showed they meant something to him. He turned his gaze from Emma to her and watched her as she stroked Emma’s hair. She glanced up at him and saw him watching her, and she quickly mouthed her love for him. His answering smile was genuine, and it was the first real one she had seen from him in the last few days. The family of three-nearly-four remained wrapped in their own world until the door was opened with a quiet knock.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Mrs Nolan, Mr Nolan… I came in early because I wanted to discuss some things with you.” Doctor Hopper usually looked quiet stoic, years in the practice meant he’d developed quite the poker face, but in that moment he looked troubled, and the warm fuzzy feeling the adults were feeling quickly went away when he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

No one spoke again until he was in front of them, and Emma curled up on the side of the bed, playing with the engagement and wedding rings on her left hand. The IV port that she had been given to try and rehydrate her was also in her left hand, and Emma was distracted playing with that while Doctor Hopper discussed test results and treatment options.

“So as you know Mrs Nolan, we believe you have a perforated ulcer that caused your hemastemisis, and the breath, blood and stool tests that we’ve given show that it was likely caused by a bacterial infection which ideally we would need to treat to prevent further ulcers.” Mary Margaret nodded, cringing as Emma tugged on her IV. David still had her other hand, and he was rubbing the purlicue of her hand with his thumb.

“However, we cannot guarantee that any treatment for the infection is safe, while you’re pregnant. We can treat some of the symptoms of the ulcer, and we can monitor you, but ultimately the antibiotics we would usually prescribe have been shown to cause issues to foetus’s. We can offer you some antacids to help keep some of the symptoms at bay, but you are limited. No magnesium, no sodium bicarbonate, so when you go home, make sure you watch what you’re buying.” The pair nodded, almost in sync and Doctor Hopper took it as permission to continue; to talk about what he was really there to talk about. “Now, we need to discuss possible treatments plans. I have some information here for you…” He paused as he took a pile of papers from inside the file he was holding. “I think it would be best if you and your husband have a talk about what you see her and then come up to my office around six, and I can talk to you about what you have read.”

“I… uh… We… ummm…” Mary Margaret opened and closed her mouth as if she was struggling to find what to say. David reached forward and took the papers from him, with a frown.

“We’ll be there.” Doctor Hopper nodded once, turning to leave the room and give the family some privacy. When the door had been closed behind him, David released Mary Margaret’s hand, placing the papers on her lap.

“I’m just going to go call Regina, I’ll get her to pick Emma up so we can deal with this.” She frowned at how tense he sounded and he kissed her furrowed brows before kissing her lips. “Don’t worry my love. I just don’t think Emma should be around this conversation. I’ll be right back.” He smiled at his wife’s pout and winked at her, leaving the room to get better signal to call his wife’s closest friend.

As he was outside, Emma climbed up a little higher so she was curled around the bump. “Mommy… do you have to stay here tonight?” Mary Margaret scrunched up her nose in thought.

“Yes little duckling… Mommy might have to stay here for a little bit. She has a few booboos that even magical cuddles can’t fix. But the doctors are gonna fix me right up and I’ll be home soon, okay?” Emma copied the face that Mary Margaret was making, a look that was so comical on her young face that the woman couldn’t help but laugh. She reached down and pulled Emma closer, burying her face in her curls, a position she always ended up in when she was scared or upset. Emma snuggled closer to her mommy, her thumb inching closer to her mouth. With her head turned away, Mary Margaret couldn’t see what the little girl was doing, as she continued to stroke her hair.

“Emma, thumb out of your mouth please, you know the rules.” Mary Margaret frowned at David at his abrupt entrance to the room, and brushed the hair back from her face as she saw Emma looking at her guiltily. With a shake of her head, Mary Margaret looked up at David questioningly.

“Emma is gonna be going home with R…”

“NO! I wanna stay with mommy!” The adults glanced at each other in shock, before looking to the little girl.

“You can’t stay here sweetheart. You’re going to spend the night at home, in your own bed. I’m going to stay with mommy and make sure she’s okay. You will sleep properly tonight and then you will go to school and then you can come here after school tomorrow.” Mary Margaret opened her mouth to interject, but closed it again when David shot her a look. He moved closer to the bed, where Emma was now sat with her arms folded, pouting. “You have to understand duckling, that Mommy might be spending some time here while the doctors make her all better. You will see her every day though, I promise you.”

Mary Margaret tensed as the little girls lip quivered again, hating to see her daughter so upset. She hated that it was her actions that had caused this, kowing that had she done what she needed to do all those months ago, her daughter wouldn’t be acting like a toddler all over again, her husband wouldn’t be dealing with all the stress and upset that he was, and she wouldn’t be forced to spend time away from her family, in a hospital getting treatment that could make her worse before it made her better.

“I…”

“Hey guys.”

Mary Margaret floundered as the door opened, and the family were interrupted by the person that Mary Margaret least expected to see.

“What are you doing here?” She narrowed her eyes at the woman she hadn’t spoken to since that day in the coffee shop. Ruby looked hesitant at the anger that seemed to be directed at her.

“Dave called me. He said you wanted me to babysit little miss tonight.” Mary Margaret turned her glare to her husband who looked confused at the entire situation.

“You said…”

“I meant Regina!”

“You didn’t make that clear Maggie. Ruby is your best…”

“Don’t you tell me what…”

“I think I should just go…” Neither of the adults heard Ruby above their argument. Emma however spotted her step backwards and jumped off the bed to run to her.

“NO! Ruby don’t go!” All three adults turned to the little girl who began sobbing in the middle of the floor. Mary Margaret’s heart dropped, and she jumped up off the bed with some difficulty, dropping to her knees in front of Emma. She held her daughter tight when Emma wrapped her arms tightly around her neck. David had lunged when his wife had moved, concerned about how she was moving when she was so ill. Mary Margaret turned to glare at David, before turning it upon Ruby as Emma cried into her neck.

“Maggie, I’m so sorry I…” She struggled to her feet as she picked Emma up, turning to face the woman who was almost in tears.

“Maggie what the…” David interrupted the brunette with a yelp. “You can’t just do that in your condition!”

Mary Margaret did not know which person to be more mad at, and so kept hold of the little girl in her arms when her friend and her husband both reached for her.

“I’m pregnant, I’m not sick!” Her face fell as she remembered just how untrue her statement was. This time when Ruby reached for her goddaughter, Mary Margaret willingly handed her over, playing much like her daughter just had when she fell into David’s arms and wept.

She cried for her family and for her future, only fully realising then how selfish she had been, keeping this a secret for so long. She hated what she had done to her daughter. To her husband. To her friends. And she didn’t dare consider what she had done to her baby.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder. It was a dream.

“Well that was very informative.” Mary Margaret nodded as she left Doctor Hoppers office, David following behind after he held the door open for her. She cradled her stomach, rubbing her side with her other hand, trying to get the ache that had been developing to go away. David caught up with her in two steps wrapping his arm around her waist in an effort to support her.

“Are you okay my love?” He could see that she was in pain. She’d not shown it in front of Emma, but as soon as Ruby had taken Emma home, Mary Margaret had curled up in pain, not able to stand without intense cramps. She had put on a brave face for her husband, but it was clear she wasn’t fooling him when she was carted off to obs and gynae for an ultrasound. It had been a clear test and so she had been prescribed some paracetamol and told to rest.

“I’m fine. Just a twinge. You don’t need to keep worrying about me David. We’ve just talked to Doctor Hopper and we know our options. I’m going to do what I need to do and I’m gonna do it soon.” David frowned at the abrupt tone, trying to think of the right way to respond as they reached the room she had been assigned. 

“It’s difficult for me not to worry sweetheart, when I can see how much this is affecting you. It was in our wedding vows remember. ‘In sickness and in health’. I meant it when I said it Maggie. I’d be worrying about you even if you weren’t sick.” He paused as he pulled her around to face him, one hand caressing her stomach while the other cradled her face. “You’re the love of my life Mary Margaret Nolan. We’re going to fight this together. All of it. I promise.” Mary Margaret nodded, stepping forward into his embrace, as she buried her face in his chest.

They had been given some possible options, a few treatments they could try and had been told to discuss it and get back to him. David had questioned Doctor Hopper on whether they had a deadline, not wanting to give his wife any time to change her mind, but had been informed that it was not a decision that can be rushed, and that unless they came to him with an answer, he would contact them again in a few days for a decision.

“I mumph mew.” David pulled back, lifting Mary Margaret’s chin up with a grin.

“What was that sweetheart?” Mary Margaret rolled her eyes before repeating herself.

“I said I love you, you ass.” David smiled, finally more at ease and helped her climb back onto the bed. She was already missing her daughter, and although she knew she would be well cared for with Ruby, she would rather her husband go home and be with her. She knew if she suggested it though, he would argue. The thought of both of of them being away from Emma, all night for the first time though, was causing her blood pressure to rise. She turned to face David who was closing the blinds at the other side of the room. “David…”

“I don’t like that tone Maggie… it’s how you sound when you want something.” He turned to face her, raising his eyebrow as she sighed dramatically.

“Ugh, maybe I just wanted to give you a compliment.”

David laughed as he made his way back over to his wife, already having decided to say no to whatever she was going to ask. “Well now I know you want something so… lay it on me.” Mary Margaret giggled, feeling lighter despite herself, as David stood with his hands on his hips, melodramatically.

“Excuse me, Mrs Nolan?” The pair turned to face the woman that stood in the doorway, a tray in her hands. “I’m sorry to disturb you both. We just wanted to get a check of your vitals before the handover. I wont be long.” Mary Margaret sighed, the good mood that had been floating between them having already sunk. She shrugged as the nurse entered and lifted up her sleeve for a blood pressure check. She looked at David as the cuff was added and then her temperature checked, smiling lightly at the faces he was pulling, trying to cheer her up.

“Oh.” The pair both turned to look at the nurse at the comment, with matching frowns.

“What do you mean, oh?”

“I just need to go and get a doctor. I wont be a moment.” The nurse turned to leave abruptly, before looking back to the patient with a smile that did not look as reassuring as she probably hoped it did. “Don’t worry, I just think a doctor should be made aware of this.”

Mary Margaret gaped at the woman, instantly concerned and scared at the same time.

The pair were silent, conversing only through glances and facial expressions until the nurse returned with a doctor who took Mary Margaret’s blood pressure again, pausing as he looked at the reading in concern.

“Mrs Nolan, I have to advise you that your blood pressure is very high right now. If it remains this high for an extended period of time it can lead to a condition called preeclampsia, which, if you’re not aware can cause issues in late term pregnancies. We are going to want to keep you in until your blood pressure has decreased, just to monitor you in case it doesn’t, to watch out for more serious complications etc. I’m going to prescribe something to try and decrease your blood pressure until its at a slightly more manageable reading and then we can discuss ways to keep it lower naturally until you deliver.”

Mary Margaret nodded dumbly at the doctor as he spoke, not really taking anything in after the mention of preeclampsia. She hadn’t had it with Emma but she knew her mother had suffered badly with it, and other issues, when she was pregnant with her, to the point where she hadn’t wanted to have any further children. David was of course, listening intently to every word, and she knew if he had had the chance, he would have been making notes. She rolled her eyes at him, only noticing then that both he and the doctor were watching her. She racked her brain, trying to identify what had been said and whether she was expected to answer a question.

“Yeah, sure.” David frowned at her response while the doctor looked at her questioningly. Realising she hadn’t said the right thing, she tried again. “No?”

The doctor picked up her file from where it was on and scribbled in it while David looked at her with a quizzical expression. “Were you even listening Maggie?” She nodded and he raised his brow to show he didn’t believe her. “What did he last say?” The woman, who was quickly growing frustrated looked between both men before she shrugged.

“I asked if you have any questions Mrs Nolan?” With a shake of her head, the doctor nodded once and left the room. The aggravation that she had been feeling turned quickly into nausea and she leaned back against her pillow as she tried to get to grips with everything that had happened that day, everything she had learned, and the decisions she was expected to make.

“Maggie?” Mary Margaret looked up at her husband, an expression that could only be described as perplexed crossing her features. Seeing her attention on him, he tried to coax her into a conversation about what she was thinking. “Did you understand what he said sweetheart?”

The brunette rolled her eyes at her husband before frowning, mostly to herself. “I screwed up months ago and now my baby is at risk. I understood perfectly, thankyou.”

David hesistated before taking his wife’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “This is not your fault Maggie. It’s just something we need to keep an eye on. They’ll bring your blood pressure down and then we can go home. We just have to forget everything that has happened up to now and focus on preparing for raising a newborn.” Mary Margaret had been unable to stop the guilt from building inside her daily and it was taking everything inside her to stop from running away from all her fears and responsibilities, leaving Emma with her father to stop her from causing any more damage to her family.

“I need you to go home and be with Emma.” Mary Margaret spoke seemingly out of nowhere, staring at the blanket covering her lap with great interest.

“Emma is fine with Ruby. I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

“No, David. I need you to go. Please. I need to think and I can’t do it with you pouting and staring at me.” David frowned down at his wife, not used to her acerbic tone. Without another word, not wanting to frustrate or upset her more, he kissed the side of her head and grabbed his jacket, leaving the room. He decided he would call her later to see if she wanted to talk. Mary Margaret watched him leave with a glare. As soon as the door closed she pulled the leaflets out from where she had stored them, beginning to read with interest. She was going to make a decision and she was going to act on it, without anyone around to give their input. She had to take responsibility for her situation. It was time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW

As soon as David had text her to inform her he had put Emma to bed and that he was heading to bed himself, Mary Margaret had tried to call Doctor Hopper. She had reached him just after he had finished a surgery and she had apologised for interrupting him. She had informed him that she had finally made a decision about treatment and asked how soon he could fit her in.

She was grateful when David had text her the next morning, informing her that he had been called in to work for a emergency and that he wouldn’t be able to visit until the evening if that. He informed her that Ruby had volunteered her services as godmother to be babysitter whenever they needed it and Regina had confirmed that cover was sorted at school and she would keep an eye on Emma when she could.

After a meeting with both Doctor Hopper and the high-risk obstetrician that had been assigned her case, Mary Margaret was taken to a room with some reclining chairs next to IV poles and other equipment. There was one empty chair at the end of the semi-circle next to a youngish man who was wearing all black. She sat hown with a huff, grateful for the recline when she lay backwards and the ache in her back dissipated. She watched the doctor as they inserted a fresh cannula into her free hand, and connected it to the bag that was waiting. She glared at the bag as it began to drip, having already been told what was going to happen, how long it would take, and anything else she needed to know, before her stomach rolled at the realisation she was being pumped with poison while seven months pregnant.

She began to stroke her stomach with the hand not attached to the IV before turning to the man on her right, sensing his eyes on her. He was watching he sympathetically and for once it didn’t fill her with annoyance.

“I’m Killian.” She nodded once at his introduction, her hand never stopping its movement.

“Maggie.”

“First time?” Maggie had looked away after his introduction but looked back when he tried to continue the conversation. She wasn’t in the mood to talk, but the man looked very ill and she couldn’t help feel a little sorry for him too, when she noticed he had patches on his head where the hair had fallen out. She nodded and ceased stroking her stomach as he held out his hand for her to shake.

She shook his hand but pulled back after a moment, when the ache in her back returned. She rubbed the spot as he sat back and regarded her curiously. “How did you know?”

He smirked as if the answer to her question was obvious, but she noticed it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked tired and gaunt and it scared her, thinking about how she would end up looking. That thought quickly turned onto one of guilt and she turned back to him, wanting to make more of an effort. He was clearly bored, or lonely if he’d started up a conversation and she didn’t want to make the situation they were in any worse than it needed to be.

“You don’t have anything to keep you occupied. The first time, most people are nervous or scared, and they don’t know how long or boring it is to sit here. The old pros…” He paused and gestured to himself and the woman next to him who waved. “We at least know what to bring to pass the time. To ease the nausea. To freshen the breath.” He grinned as he gestured to the water, crackers and gum that sat on the table between them. Mary Margaret smiled, realising the only thing she had with her was her phone, and that was on half battery. She began to look along the line of other patients, seeing most had some kind of puzzle book or device to keep them occupied. Most of them seemed to be chatting quietly, and it looked like some were friends.

Killian saw her looking around and leaned back in his seat when her gaze once again fell to him. “Well Maggie, let me introduce you to our little family here on cancer wing B.” The woman next to him snorted and he raised his brow at her. “We spend a lot of time together, we become friends. We mourn together when one of us doesn’t make it.” Mary Margaret frowned as he looked down to the floor, and she realised he was thinking about who had previously occupied her chair. “Anyway…” He was back to normal in a second and Mary Margaret leaned in, finding herself wanting to know all who these people were. “That grumpy man on the other end is Robert. He frowns an awful lot for someone married to Miss Universe Australia from a few years ago.” Mary Margaret smiled when Killian did. It was clear to them all why he was miserable. For the same reason they all were, but they were clearly used to focusing on the positives. The room was relatively quiet and so the man in question, having overheard his introduction to the new woman, glared at Killian before smiling at Mary Margaret. He turned back to the portable movie player on his lap, frowning intently at the screen.

“Beside dear old Robert is Jacqueline and beside her is Lily. They kind of keep to themselves.” He leaned forward to whisper the next information, though it was loud enough for the women in question to hear. “The two only really talk to each other. We think they have started a relationship, but they wont tell us.” Mary Margaret giggled at the look Lily shot the man beside her, before she leaned forward to kiss the girl who was curled up on her chair, the two having been pulled close together. She spoke up to Mary Margaret, causing the rest of the patients, and the nurse that had walked in the room to pay attention.

“Jack and I have been dating for three months now Killian. You know this. You’re just jealous you didn’t get in there first.” The woman next to Killian laughed loudly, along with a few others. Even Robert tried to hide a smile. Killian tilted his head back to Mary Margaret, as if informing her he was about to move on. Next to Lily is Walsh. If you want to know an interesting fact about Walsh, he has a pet monkey. One he decided it would be a good idea to call Marcel.” Mary Margaret’s eyebrow rose as she looked to the man in question who simply shrugged with a shy grin, going back to his copy of ‘Jerusalem’.

“That next to Walsh is Elsa. She… Elsa sleeps through her treatment… None of us want to be here. But her less so. Her little sister was the previous occupant of your chair.” Mary Margaret glanced at the sleeping blonde woman and felt her heart breaking for the woman who was curled up tightly covered in three different coloured blankets. “She’s always cold. Even before cancer and chemo. Anna used to knit all those blankets for her when she was in treatment. Anna… she was here for six weeks. At least for her it was quick. Elsa has been in and out of treatment since she was twelve.” Mary Margaret glanced back to her and looked away before looking again. She had shifted in her sleep and Mary Margaret could tell then that her long blonde braid was a wig. Killian stopped talking for a few moments to allow his new friend time to process. He knew it was never easy for anyone starting chemo, but he also knew that having friends going through the same thing made it just a little easier.

Mary Margaret was pulled from her thoughts when a machine beeped and watched as a nurse moved to the machine in question, beginning to remove the IV from who it was attached to, before flushing out the port in his chest. He left the room with a general wave to the rest of the room and the teacher turned to her new neighbour questioningly. “That’s Will. He’s one of the youngest here. He was living on the streets when he was diagnosed. Thankfully he’s now stable, he has a job and a place to stay. But he doesn’t really like to mix with us. Finds it hard to trust people.

“Understandably.” Mary Margaret had opened her mouth to speak when the woman next to Killian expressed what she was feeling. Mary Margaret nodded at the woman who had spoken with a English accent.

“Exactly.”

She glanced at the woman next to the English woman who had been watching and listening to their conversation, but not getting involved. She was wearing a headscarf but otherwise looked relatively healthy, to Mary Margaret at least. She peeked at Killian who made a gesture as if to allow the woman to introduce herself. She was once again surprised at the Scottish accent that she heard. “I’m Merida. It’s nice to meet you.” They were too far apart to shake hands but Mary Margaret waved, smiling at Merida’s bright grin. “Unfortunatley you wont be seeing me all that much. I’m here for maintenance only.”

“Well that’s fantastic news. Congratulations Merida.” The three people closest to her were smiling and Mary Margaret couldn’t help but smile too. She had only just met the woman but she felt genuine happiness about the news. The English woman had leaned over to hug the Scottish one before she sat back in her seat, closing her eyes. As Mary Margaret waited for her to speak she began to shiver and pulled the little cardigan she was wearing tight around her shoulders. When the woman opened her eyes, she was pouting, and the brunette frowned at the look of pain the other was wearing.

“Sorry. Dizzy.” She smiled lightly as Killian handed her a bottle of water and she took some tentative sips before she looked at her new friend. “Zelena. Though my staff call me the Wicked Witch.” She ran a hand through her hair which was cropped in a way that Mary Margaret had once considered cutting her own hair. Seeing her looking, Zelena pouted again, this time more jokingly. “I used to have wild hair. It was so difficult to brush and style but it was a great colour. Almost as ginger as Merida had as a child growing up in Scotland. She looked longingly at Mary Margaret’s hair, the curls that fell down her back. “I can’t wait until it grows back.” The brunette woman shrugged uncomfortably, wanting to hide her hair. Killian seemed to sense the tension and leaned forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry Maggie. We’re all friends here.” His smile was kind, and it put her at ease. She glanced up at the bag and saw that there was still a way to go and she closed her eyes again, nausea beginning to rise in her stomach. She hadn’t eaten that morning, knowing that if she was going to be sick, she’d rather not it be with a full stomach. The room was quiet for a few minutes until two machines went off almost simultaneously. Mary Margaret opened her eyes and saw that Jack and Lily appeared to be done, and after they were removed from the machines, they walked out together, hand in hand.

Mary Margaret was still feeling the ache in her back and so decided to try and stand to see if it eased. She was surprised when she looked at the clock and saw that it had been over an hour that she’d been sat there, and the ache was back. She regretted her movement however when a wave of vertigo passed over her and she sat back down quickly.

Killian leant forward to be available if she needed help, and she sat stone still until her dizziness had passed. When she was comfortable again, she kept her eyes closed but listened to the conversation going on next to her. Merida and Zelena were talking about the United Kingdom, a place Mary Margaret had never visited. She was surprised when Killian started talking about his childhood in Ireland. His accent had been quite strongly American, but now she knew he was Irish, she could hear the lilt in his voice. She kept her eyes closed as she listened and before long she was asleep. She was quickly pulled from her sleep by the sound of a young child, screeching for their daddy.

When she opened her eyes, she watched a little boy, no older than five and a little girl no older than three walk in with a brunette woman. The girl had a shock of red hair and made a beeline for Zelena as the little boy ran for Killan. Mary Margaret watched with a smile as the woman who walked in with them approached Killian with a look of love and devotion.

“Hey you.” Killian was grinning like a schoolboy as he stood up on shaky legs, hugging first his wife then bending down to hug his son. Mary Margaret looked away, not wanting to intrude on their intimate family moment, to Zelena who was hugging the little girl to her chest, her eyes closed, with a look of total relaxation on her face. Sensing her looking at them, Killian turned to his new friend. “Maggie. Meet my wife, Milah, and my son, Liam.” Mary Margaret smiled at Milah and waved at Liam, receiving warm grins in return.

“I have a little girl around your age Liam. She’s called Emma.” Liam smiled politely at the teacher before turning back to his father, playing with the silver chain around his neck, a chain that Mary Margaret realised held his wedding ring. She glanced at his hands, noticing how thin and frail they looked, words that described how he looked overall. Mary Margaret caught Milah’s eye, and she could see they were both thinking the same thing, just by the look in her eye.

She heard murmuring from seat next to Killian and looked over at Zelena who had her forehead pressed against the little girls, whispering to her as she ran her fingers through the wild red curls. She smiled at the sight, looking forward to the next time she got to hold her daughter in her arms.

“That’s Robyn, Lena’s little girl. She raises her alone, so when we have chemo, Milah looks after her.” He leant forward to whisper to Mary Margaret, as Milah had taken Liam to sit on the other side of Zelena, to talk to her about her daughter. “Milah always wanted a little girl and we tried but… when I got sick, I didn’t want her to have to go through everything alone, if I was too sick or if I…” Mary Margaret’s stomach dropped at the reflection with her own situation. Her hand came up to stroke her stomach almost instinctively as her eyes began to fill with tears. She blinked them away quickly and nodded, thankful that he had not noticed. “And… If I do make it through this… who knows if I’d actually be able to…” He paused again, not wanting to finish his sentences, and Mary Margaret reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I get it. David, my husband, he always wanted a big family. This one is number two but I don’t know what will happen once this is all over.” She didn’t need to elaborate. It was clear he had thought about all the possible options and outcomes.

“Where is David? Does he not know what time you’re due to finish? They suggest having someone pick you up after the first few times, until you’re used to the effects it has on you.”

Mary Margaret pulled back instantly, looking up at the bag that was over three quarters finished. “He… doesn’t know I’m here. It’s a big thing…” She looked between Killian, Zelena, Merida; people she already considered to be new friends, as well as Milah and the two children. She knew there was no way she could tell them that her diagnosis was not new. Not when they had all clearly been fighting so hard to survive. She could not disrespect them by flaunting her apparent disinterest in living. Not that that was the case, but she could not make them aware she had sat on a diagnosis for 9 months without telling her husband, without making any kind of effort to live for her expanding family.

She didn’t realise she was crying until she looked up to see the little redhead in front of her, looking blurry through her tears. The girl was holding out her teddy bear that was wearing a union flag waistcoat. Mary Margaret took a deep breath and hastily wiped her face, looking out at her neighbours. They were all watching her with varying looks of concern, Zelena watching her with a confused frown. The teacher leaned forward as far as she could with her stomach in the way, patting the little girls shoulder, sending her back towards her mother with a thankyou for her kindness. The other three adults spoke in quiet conversations until multiple buzzers went off in the space of a few minutes.

Mary Margaret had been stroking her stomach, looking away from the rest of the group and continued to do so, until Killian put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. “I’m heading off now. Lena will give you my number, if you need anything, just someone to talk to… someone who gets it, I’ll be at the end of the phone. Plus maybe we can arrange a playdate. Emma can meet Robyn and Liam.” Mary Margaret nodded, smiling tightly, not knowing how to thank him for his compassion.

“I’ll see you next time.” Killian returned her smile and waved as the woman waved at Milah and Liam. She noticed with a glance around that the room was mostly empty, Zelena and Robyn the only ones still in the room. Robyn had taken her teddy to one of the empty recliners and was playing quietly by herself. Zelena had moved from the chair she was in to the one that Killian had vacated in the time she’d been watching him go.

“I get it you know.” The words came out of nowhere and Mary Margaret glanced at the girl who was still in her own world. “When the doctor first said those words to me, I shut down. I had a little girl who solely relied on me for survival, and I couldn’t even promise her that I would survive. I didn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t. Then one of my employees had to bury their child, a little boy. The disease that I was pretending didn’t exist had killed an innocent little third grader. I couldn’t do nothing then. A little boy whose mother had juggled a full time job at my company while caring for two children alone, one of whom was terminally ill. I couldn’t pretend anymore. He didn’t have a choice. He didn’t have a chance. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be weak when he had been so strong.”

Mary Margaret didn’t wipe the tears away this time. She couldn’t imagine Emma ever having to go through something like that. “I was in denial at first and then when I found out I was pregnant I… I thought I couldn’t risk the baby…” Zelena was nodding in understanding. “How did you know..? How did you know I was so…” Mary Margaret couldn’t say the word that Zelena had used, not wanting to confirm to herself that she had been weak. As if she could again see what she was thinking, Zelena spoke again.

“It doesn’t make you weak Maggie. Never ever think that you are anything but strong. You are fighting. It doesn’t matter when you started. It just matters that you did. Your daughter will be very proud of you when she understands. Your husband undoubtedly is. You have a new group of friends who get it. Wait. Give me your phone.” She held out her hand for the device which Mary Margaret awkwardly handed over. “I’ve put in Killians number, and Merida’s and mine, and I’ve added you to our group chat. You can text or call at any time, and I know that at least one of us will respond.” She handed the phone over at the same time that her machine beeped. A few minutes later she was alone, and she lay back, resting her phone on the top of her bump. She jumped when it buzzed seconds later, smiling at the resulting kick that came from the baby being disturbed. She checked the message and found it was Zelena.

She had cried a lot that day, and the past many months, and themessage she had received caused her to cry again.

_‘Your illness does not define you. Your strength and courage does.’_

Alongside the message was a short video of Zelena blowing a kiss, with Robyn trying to copy her. This time she was smiling through her tears, as she sent a quick response to them both. She had started up a conversation with the redhead by the time her machine beeped and it signalled the end of her first treatment. She had been advised by Doctor Hopper that she should return to her room after, keep an eye out for the side effects and let the nurses know if anything was wrong. She had been scheduled for an appointment the next day with her obstetrician to monitor the baby etc. She knew she should contact David, and she was desperate to see her daughter and so decided that when she got back to her room she would call him. Seeing Killian and Zelena with their families had caused an ache in her heart that only her true loves would fill. She hoped that Zelena had been right, that David would be proud of her. She wanted nothing more than for her family to know that she was trying. That she would do whatever she needed to do to be with them.


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as she was back in her room she was calling her husband, somehow feeling lighter despite how crappy she suddenly seemed to be feeling. He answered on the second ring and he sounded breathless.

“Maggie? You okay baby?” Maggie closed her eyes at the sound of his voice and sniffled, her stomach roiling.

“Yeah.. you’re panting… what’s going on?” She looked at the clock and saw it was only early afternoon and so assumed he was just busy at work.

“I’m sorry my love. Been non-stop today. How are you feeling?” Mary Margaret groaned as the nausea she had started feeling turned into stomach cramps.

“It’s… fine. I met some new people today. Made some friends.”

“Well that’s nice sweetheart.” He spoke again, but his voice was quiet as if he was speaking away Mary Margaret frowned at the distraction in his voice.

“I can call another time if you’re busy David.”

“No sweetheart, I’m sorry. Tell me about your new friends.” She settled back against the cushion, wrapping the blanket tight around her as she shivered. She was so cold, yet her face felt so warm, and she could tell when she touched her forehead and cheeks with the back of her hand that she was flushed. She had been advised about the possible side effects of her chemo but she didn’t expect them to come on so fast. She didn’t know how to inform him that she had made yet another decision without him and so decided to just come out with it.

“I met them during chemo.” She heard a shift on the phone and knew that she had his full attention. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you but I figured I just needed to jump. The people are great. A few of them have kids and I want them to meet Emma. They have a little… chemo group.” She heard him sigh and she frowned, fanning herself with her hand. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop talking about them.” The other end of the line was silent and Mary Margaret pulled the phone from her ear to check they were still connected. “I’m sorry David. I don’t… I miss you, and I know that you’re busy but seeing the others with their kids was just...” The woman began to panic, struggling to keep control of her breathing. She put her hand on her chest, feeling it rise and sink with her staggered breaths. She had been given a list of possible side effects but breathing issues hadn’t been included.

“Mary Margaret calm down, you need to breathe, try and match your breaths with mine.” He demonstrated the breaths with her, continuing patiently until she was managing to match her breathing with his. “Maggie you need to call for the nurse okay, I am going to leave work as soon as I can and I’ll be there, but I’m concerned about you sitting alone when you’ve had treatment for the first time.” She had a little more control over her breathing but the situation was making her upset. Knowing that what he said made a lot of sense, she pressed the button to call for the nurse. “Maggie, do you want me to bring Emma to see you?”

“I…” She hiccupped, not sure whether she wanted Emma to see her the way that she was. “I don’t know. I don’t want her to see me if I get sick. I just miss her so much. I…” She was interrupted by a nurse walking in, responding to her call. Mary Margaret pulled the phone from her ear, apologising to the nurse. “I’m sorry to disturb you. I don’t feel great, I know there’s not much you can do.” The nurse was frowning as she walked over to the woman, checking her notes before picking up the tympanic thermometer that was beside the bed. She took her temperature, making a note on the file.

“What are you feeling Mrs Nolan? I can see you’re flushed, are you feeling warm?” Maggie nodded but she was shivering at the same time. She frowned, glancing away from the nurse in case she thought she was lying. “Can I just check the site of your port? Have you noticed any irregular rashes since you received your teatement?” Forgetting that David was on the other end of the line, concerned at how serious the nurse was reacting, she dropped the phone, holding out her arm for inspection.

“I can see the site is a little red there, do you have any itchiness anywhere Mrs Nolan?” With a frown, the woman opened her cardigan, pulling down the front of her gown showing the nurse that the skin on her sternum that was red and raised.

“It only just started to get itchy, but I’ve been feeling generally unwell since I came back here. My stomach hurts but I figured that was the ulcer.”

“Well Mrs Nolan, I want to contact Doctor Hopper, and your obstetrician to come and see you. I believe you may be having an allergic reaction to the treatment, and if that is the case they are going to need to talk to you about alternative treatments.” Mary Margaret nodded, eyes downcast as she considered what that meant.

“Can my daughter come and visit?” The nurse paused, frowning at the notes in her hand.

“With how you’ve reacted to treatment so far I am not sure. Doctor Hopper may be able to answer. You are currently at a greater risk of infection and so if your daughter is sick in any way, then we may have to say no, for your health. I’ll ask him to come and visit soon, he will prescribe something to treat the allergic reaction.

Mary Margaret sat in silence, not responding when the nurse tried to get an acknoweledgement, or when she left the room. She was pulled out of her reverie when her phone rang, and she saw it was David calling.

“Maggie, what’s going on?” She could hear traffic in the background and she knew he was probably on his way to the hospital.

“I had a bad reaction to the treatment, but they’re going to sort it. Don’t worry.” Mary Margaret knew he was rolling his eyes at her.

“Of course I am going to worry Mary Margaret. You hide a serious condition from me, and then you hide the fact you are seeking treatment for it and it made you sicker. What else is going to happen? Are you going to hide when you’re having the baby? Are you hiding anything else? Is the baby even mine?” David regretted the words as soon as he said them, hearing the gasp from his wife through the hands free in his car.

“David… what the hell. Of course it is, why would you even question that?” In any other circumstances she would probably have become upset, but she knew that he had reason not to trust her, and he was probably as stressed with the whole situation as she was, with very little outlet.

“I’m sorry Maggie, I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried, and frustrated and I heard what that nurse said and I just… I want nothing more than for you and the baby to be okay, and for the four of us to be at home; happy and healthy.” She was nodding along with what he was saying.

“The nurse said if Emma is sick I can’t see her so… I guess if she catches anything she’ll have to…” She finished the sentence in her head but not out loud as her train of thought changed and she changed the conversation. “I just hate relying on friends so much to take care of her. It’s not fair on them, or her or on you that you have to miss out on time with your daughter just to see me. It would probably be better for her if you just keep her happy and safe until I’m out of here. She’s our daughter, we should be the ones to take care of her. You shouldn’t have kids if you can’t care for them.”

“Woah, Maggie, stop. We have taken care of Emma and all her needs for over six years. Sometimes things happen that are out of out control. There is no way that we could have forseen this happening. We’re not bad parents and making sure you are healthy enough to continue to be her parent is the most important thing.” He listened to his wife breathe for a moment, unsure whether she was taking in what he was saying. “You are doing the best you can and Emma is going to be so proud of you when she understands what happened. If the rest of her life and the life of the baby are full because you are in it, then a little time away from her wont matter in the long run. There is no way she would want to risk you getting more sick just for an hour with you. You know this.” Mary Margaret sighed, rubbing her hand across the red marks on her chest.

“I’m so tired David.” She meant physically, her treatment had taken everything out of her, but as she said it, she knew she meant it mentally. “I am so sorry for everything I have put you through. If I could take it all back, believe me, I would.” David was not sure what had changed in his wife since he left her the night before but he didn’t like it. He didn’t like the change in her tone. It sounded as if she had given up.

“Maggie, please… let me come and see you. I will take Emma’s temperature and I’ll make her wear a mask if necessary but I really think you will benefit from seeing her. I know she has missed you too sweetheart and you can tell us more about your new friends. You said you want Emma to meet the kids, I think that would be good for her as well as you. These are people that you might be spending some time with, let’s get to know them.” He carried on speaking but Mary Margaret stopped listening as Doctor Hopper knocked on the door he had opened, walking into the room. She pulled the phone away from her ear and hung up, wanting to hear what he had to say before sharing it with her husband.

“Good afternoon Mary Margaret. I believe the nurses are concerned that you may have had a negative reaction to the chemotherapy?” Again, she nodded and he continued. “We’re going to treat you for the rash, just to make sure you don’t keep itching it. We don’t want you to itch and break the skin while your immune system is surpressed. We will also have to monitor you for at least the next 24 hours, to see if we need to change your regime, which will delay further treatment until it can be sorted. I recommend we speak when your husband is available, I want to make sure he is aware of everything he needs for when you go home and you have treatment as an outpatient.” Mary Margaret zoned out, her mind already racing as she thought about when she would next get to go home, when she would next see her daughter, whether she would actually get to go home when her baby did. She shuddered when her thoughts turned dark, uncosnsciously questioning if she even wanted to go home anymore. She knew deep down that it would be better for her whole family if she was no longer such a burden to them. She heard the door close as she lay back, arms wrapped around her stomach closing her eyes as if it would block out the sounds and the thoughts swirling through her mind. She didn’t realise she was crying, or that anyone else had entered the room until she felt soft hands wiping the tears from her face.

She knew it was David before she opened her eyes, and instinctively she leaned into his touch. He was silent and patient as she came back to herself, blinking up at him when the negative emotions she was feeling had been surpressed. She was surprised to see David watching her with a look of concern, but behind him seeing Emma in a surgical mask and gown, sitting quietly on a chair. She looked troubled and Mary Margaret’s heart broke again as she looked at her.

“Emma isn’t sick as far as we know, but we thought it best to cover all bases and take all the precautions just in case. I couldn’t keep her away from your Maggie. I never want to do that.” Mary Margaret was silent again, but she opened her arms when David lifted Emma onto the bed and held her, thinking back to the way that Zelena had been cradling Robyn. Emma was silent as she buried her face into Mary Margaret’s neck, content to just be close. David pulled the chair closer to the bed, running his fingers through his wife’s hair as she watched him, one arm wrapped around the little girl who was covered in more medical garb than the staff that were treating her. Emma had so far been silent, and she had her eyes closed but Mary Margaret could feel from her breathing that she was not asleep.

“I missed you guys so much. She looked from David to Emma, noticing the little girl had opened her eyes to look at her mommy, closing them again when she saw she had been caught. David smiled tightly, having seen the rash that had been slowly spreading across her chest and neck.

“We missed you my love. I told Emma about your new friends. She’s very excited to make some of her own new friends. Aren’t you duckling?” David had remained stroking his fingers through his wife’s hair as he tickled his daughter under her chin with the other. The pair could see she was trying hard to feign sleep but failed when Mary Margaret used the arm wrapped around her to tickle her side. She giggled and sat up straight, leaning back so she still had a physical connection to her mother.

“Can you come home soon mommy?” Emma was not looking at the woman, again distracted playing with the rings on her finger as she played with her hand.

“I’m working on it baby. Just have to make sure everything is ok with your little brother or sister and then I can. Are you excited about the baby honey?” Emma looked up at her dad then twisted her head to look at her mom, pondering the question before answering seriously.

“I don’t want a brother. Get me a sister.” Mary Margaret and David both laughed loudly at that, Emma looking at them both in confusion.

“Well duckling…”

“The thing is baby…” Both parents started talking together, glancing at each other with a grin. David smiled brightly and mimed zipping his lip, letting his wife do the talking. “The thing is sweetheart… It’s too late now, for one. We are gonna get what we’re given and we’re gonna love the baby as much as we love you even if it is a boy.” Emma frowned at that, and Mary Margaret continued, taking Emma’s hand to place on her stomach where the baby was kicking. “Secondly, even if it wasn’t too late, we can’t choose. You’re too young to understand why baby, but one da you will. And you’ll love it even if it is a boy Emma, you’ll be the best big sister.” She released Emma’s hand but the little girl didn’t move it from where it rested. Mary Margaret reached for David’s hand, placing it over Emma’s where the baby was still kicking. She spoke to Emma but she was watching David.

“Plus, you never know. If this one is a boy, we can always try again to get you a sister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you Emma was adorable


	15. Chapter 15

Mary Margaret had spent the afternoon and early evening with her family before they had gone home. She had been feeling steadily worse and was at the stage of begging David to take Emma away before she let herself feel what she was feeling, when David had noticed the pain in her eyes and had suggested the two of them go for a late dinner before bed. Emma had nodded enthusiastically and Mary Margaret had waved until they’d closed the door behind them, before she’d burst into tears and the pain that was coursing through her system. She’d called for a nurse who had administered an antihistamine and some mild painkillers as well as a baby friendly anti-emetic. The next week went much the same. Treating the multiple issues that she seemed to be experiencing, trying to find a different treatment that would work, and then spending the evenings with her family.

She was surprised when she was told she could join the ‘chemo group’ again as Doctor Hopper had found another treatment option that he was confident in. Emma had been tested with a mouth and nasal swap after she had sneezed three times in a row and had been cleared of any infection and so was able to join Mary Margaret at the end of her session, entering the room with David at the same time Milah did with the two children. Emma introduced the remainder of the group to her husband and daughter, accepting the invitation from Milah for Emma to join their playdates at the times she wasn’t at school. Mary Margaret had gone back to her room after the chemo, happy that she wasn’t having a similar allergic reaction than the previous treatment.

The other expected side effects however were almost immediate and she spent the next 48 hours in a constant state of nausea and vomiting, unable to move much lest it start again. Mary Margaret had forbidden David from bringing Emma around when she was that unwell, telling him to take her to Milah’s so she could be around kids that were going through what she was. She refused David visitation also, as she did not want him to worry about her, knowing he would want to be with her, helping her, and it would take time away from him being with their daughter.

The next two weeks went much the same. Doctor Hopper was hesitant to release her as she had suffered some quite serious dehydration after one of the rounds of chemo, and it took her longer than he would have liked to recover from the ill effects. She had further scans and tests to see if the treatment and the resulting side effects was causing any issues with the baby, and when they couldn’t identify anything, she was given permission to continue with the treatment if she wanted to. It was the thought of making sure she was better for when the baby came that kept pushing her to continue. Soon it wasn’t just 48 hours of sickness, it was the whole period between sessions. She made sure to see Emma in the evenings when it wasn’t as bad, and sometimes even then she only had respite for an hour before Emma was being rushed out and she was in tears, puking her guts out at the slightest movement. She started suffering with headaches and after her third treatment, she noticed that she would wake up with strands of hair on the pillow, more coming out when she brushed her hair. She took to keeping her hair in ponytails whenever Emma was visiting so she couldn’t see the patches that were starting to appear on her head. She was finding more bruises daily that were appearing from her sleepless nights tossing and turning as much as she could at 8 months pregnant, but she was able to hide them from Emma with long sleeves and blankets.

There was one thing that she had failed to hide from her daughter however, and it was the thing that seemed to be concerning David and Doctor Hopper the most. Her headaches and consistent nausea meant she was struggling to keep any food down and she was losing weight faster than Doctor Hopper had considered she might. Emma had noticed that her scapular was more prominent than usual when she climbed onto her usual position of resting her head against her mother’s chest. When she was playing with the rings on her fingers and the IV in her hand, she could feel the bones more than she could, and she could see that the rings no longer sat comfortably on her finger, instead loosely moved up and down to the knuckle, which after Mary Margaret had knocked it during sleep, was bruised and swollen, and so the rings could not be removed. Emma had not so subtly asked David why ‘mommy looked so skinny’ when she was meant to be ‘big with the baby’.

David had only lifted his daughter from the bed, sitting her on his lap to avoid her causing Mary Margaret any additional discomfort, physically or mentally. Mary Margaret had reached over and held Emma’s hand tightly for the rest of the time she was visiting. Emma was happy to just chat about school and the playdates she has been having with Liam and Robyn. She had turned and was talking to David when Mary Margaret twisted to change position, cramps starting to develop in her lower back. When she looked at her pillow to try and plump it, she saw another twist of hair lying there. David was watching his wife and so noticed her heartbroken expression as she looked from the pillow to her daughter and back, brushing it out of the way before the six year old saw it. Emma was animated, and David was trying to keep up with her level of enthusiasm but his heart was breaking for his wife. She was eight months pregnant, and with her previous pregnancy she had been glowing at this stage. Now however, she was gaunt and so obviously sick that sometimes it hurt him to look at her.

At first he had been concerned that her not seeking treatment would be the thing that would cause problems in the future, but seeing her now, he wasn’t sure if the treatment was doing more bad than good, and whether, with the way she was looking, she would even be around to raise their child. He had met Killian when he had taken Emma to the chemo group and had seen how someone with a similar type of cancer was after intensive treatment. He was not sure he wanted his wife to end up in the same state as her new friend.

Eventually Emma had talked herself to sleep and David lay her at the bottom of Mary Margaret’s bed, reaching for her hand which he began to stroke soothingly.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this David. I am so tired of being sick, and of my hair falling out and of hurting so much I can’t even cuddle my daughter… I am tired of the nightmares and the headaches and my inability to protect my other baby. I just… I’m exhausted David.”

David could only lean forward and embrace his wife, unable to stop the tears that were falling. It was the first time he had cried in front of his wife about the situation, usually saving it for when he was in bed when Emma was asleep. Mary Margaret could feel his tears drip onto her neck and she sobbed, pushing him back so she could sit up as much as possible, pulling him by the wrist so he was perched next to her. As much as she could with her stomach between them, she hugged him tightly, rubbing his back as he cried.

Eventually his tears stopped and he mumbled apologies into her neck. She didn’t allow him to pull away though, wanting to give him the comfort that he had been giving her since she had known him. The couple remained embraced as Mary Margaret murmured to him, asking him to tell her what he was thinking.

“I’m scared. I’m petrified Maggie. I can’t lose you and every time I see you… I get more scared that I am going to. At first, I have to admit that I had concerns about the baby. It clouded me, my concern for you, but also how we would manage with a child that needs additional care. But now, even with you so close to giving birth, I am so scared of losing you. How do we know that you will be strong enough to give birth? What is the point of you carrying to term, you delaying treatment, if you’re not going to be around to raise your baby.” He paused and pulled back, watching his wife warily. She reached up to wipe his tears and took a moment to kiss him, leaning her forehead against his until his breathing calmed.

“I was talking to Emma before. She understands more than we thought. She asked me…” He hesitated but Mary Margaret looked at him imploringly, wanting to know what her daughter had been worried about. “She asked what would happen to the baby if you died.” Mary Margaret could not be annoyed that the question had been asked. She’d asked it herself enough. She knew David would have told her that her mother wasn’t going to die and Emma would have probably accepted it.

“David… you’ll… You need to find someone else. The girls will need a female figure in their lives and you need to be happy. Promise me you will find someone?” David didn’t answer straight away and so Mary Margaret assumed he was thinking about what she asked of him and relaxed against him. David however tensed and was trying to work out the best way to yell at his sick pregnant wife without coming across as heartless.

“Maggie, I swear if you ever say something like that again I…” He knew he had nothing to add to that. He would never threaten her, let alone carry out a threat of harm. “Just… don’t you dare.” Mary Margaret nodded against his chest, and wrapped her arms tighter around him, knowing neither of them were ready to lose contact.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore David. With the treatment, I feel like I’m dying. Without it… I am actually dying. Why did everything have to get so complicated?” David considered the question as he leaned back and shifted, finding a more comfortable position to embrace her. He had been doing a lot of research and soul searching during his nights alone at home. Somehow he knew a moment like this was coming, and he was prepared.

“You’re never given more pain than you can handle. You never, ever get more than you can take.” He didn’t expand on it, he wanted her to think about it and allow it to help her if it could. He stroked up and down her back tenderly, waiting for her to speak. When she did, it was not what he expected.

“You always calm her down.” With a frown, David separated them, allowing Mary Margaret to guide his hand to a spot on the side of her stomach when she noticed his perplexed look. “She has been driving me insane all day but she must know her daddy is here, because she’s relaxed… no more somersaults on my bladder. I think she’s as ready to be out of there as I am, she doesn’t really seem to fit anymore.” David stroked the spot she had laid his hand with her thumb. He couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that still, after everything, they were going to have another baby. He felt the baby push against his hand and he smiled at his wife who was watching him with tears in her eyes. “You’re going to be so good to her David. You’re such an amazing dad…”

David sighed at how resigned she sounded. As if she knew that there was a chance she wouldn’t be around for the baby. But more than that. He could hear her acceptance of that fact and it broke his heart. “Maggie, I need you to keep fighting. Emma and the baby needs you to. Please just… keep fighting for us. Not just that… for yourself. So you can continue being the amazing mother that you are. I know you’re tired baby but please. Don’t give up.”

The pair remained close together for a while, Mary Margaret dozing against David’s chest. When she was asleep, he shifted her so that she was lying straight, knowing the position she was in would cause her pain in the morning. Seeing his wife and daughter both sleeping so soundly meant he was unwilling to move any of them, and instead he simply sat and watched them. He saw the impression of what he believed to be a foot press against Mary Margaret’s stomach and he placed his palm against it, silently willing the baby give its mother a break from the pain.

“I can’t wait to meet you little one. You are going to make your mother and I so happy, you have no idea.” He couldn’t not smile at the thought of his expanding family, and he allowed himself a moment of respite from the stress and worry as the baby again pushed against his hand, as if his words had been heard and understood. He remained calm, caressing her stomach as she slept, looking between the two current loves of his life. Emma was sleeping soundly, her face peaceful, as it always should be. Mary Margaret’s face was pinched, as if she was still in pain even in sleep. When she began to grimace, he took his hand away, brushing the hair from her sweaty brow. He wished there was something he could do to help her, to ease her pain. 

Looking at his watch, he realized that it was getting late, and that Emma had school the next morning. He climbed off the bed slowly, not wanting to wake Mary Margaret when she was finally getting some sleep and he lifted Emma into his arms, wanting to get her out quietly. She whined is her sleep was disturbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “No daddy. Wan’a stay wi’ mommy.” The noise broke the tranquil silence of the room and Mary Margaret woke with a start. She groaned as she curled into herself, pain in her middle causing tears to spring to her eyes.

“David.” She didn’t get anymore words out as another spasm rocked through her. David placed Emma back on the bed quickly, rushing to his wife’s side. She pushed him away when he touched her arm, gritting her teeth to get the words out through the pain. “Take Emma. Go. Please.” When he didn’t move, she tried again. “Get. Out.” The word was broken by another gasp at the throbbing. “Get.. nurse…” With no more words he kissed her forehead and grabbed Emma, calling for the nurse as soon as he was out of the door. He wanted to leave Emma with a nurse and go back in, scared for his wife and unborn baby. He stood and watched as the emergency button was pressed inside the room, holding tight onto his daughter as a doctor rushed into the room. Emma was still sleepy, not understanding what was going on.

“Daddy, home now?” He looked from the room to his daughter and back again, her pouting expression clearly showing how tired she was, and he could see that she didn’t understand what was going on.

“How about we go and visit Aunt Regina or Aunt Ruby little duckling? Maybe you can have a sleepover?” Emma nodded, but it wasn’t as excited as she usually demonstrated at the idea. She was tired and probably scared and he knew she was trying to act brave for her parents.

“I wanna see Regina. Play with Henry.”

With a final glance to the room his wife was in, he turned and carried Emma away, the little girl falling asleep again before they even got to the car. He called Regina on the phone on the way out of the hospital, hoping it wasn’t too late and that she wasn’t already asleep. She answered on the second ring, and the fear in her tone caused David to frown.

“David, is everything okay? Is it Maggie? Has something happened?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know. Can I drop Emma around. Something is going on, and Maggie doesn’t want Emma to be around if something goes wrong. I think something’s going wrong. Please, can I drop Emma around?”

“Sure David. Henry is at a friend’s house, she can have his bed. Just come right over.” She ended the call as David drove, and he prayed silently to any divine being that was listening that his wife would be okay.

He arrived at Regina’s house about ten minutes later, and Emma didn’t wake through being lifted out of the car, or carried up the stairs. When David walked back downstairs he was cornered by Regina holding a steaming cup of coffee out to him. “Come on David, you look dead on your feet, I can’t let you drive like that, or help Maggie with whatever is going on. Just sit down. Take a minute. Tell me what is going on?” With a nod, David sighed, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“I just have to give her a call, let her know I’ll be back soon.” Without waiting for her acknowledgement, he pressed the call button, listening to it ring.

* * *

“It’s your husband, Mrs Nolan, would you like to answer the call before we go ahead?” Mary Margaret shook her head, grunting at the pain.

“No, just… get her out of me. She’s not safe, I need her to be safe.” She lay back, allowing the oxygen mask to be placed on her, as the nurse pinned a screen in place. She closed her eyes, trying to calm her breathing as the obstetrician stepped forward.

“Okay Mrs Nolan, I know you have signed the consent form, but I need you to confirm just one more time that you understand the procedure you are about to have and the possible risks associated with it, and that you still want to go ahead.

“Yes, yes, I get it, just do it. Please. When she’s out, do whatever you need to do to me. Call David back, only when she’s here and get him here for the baby.. Do what you need to do. I consent to anything. Just don’t call David until she’s out okay.” The obstetrician nodded and Mary Margaret sighed. She couldn’t see anything below her chest and her arm was out with a new IV attached, this one making sure she was getting the necessary fluids. The c-section had been quickly decided after Mary Margaret had suffered some cramps and bleeding and an assessment had shown decels in the fetal heart rate, at which point they had advised the risks of not taking the baby out were higher than if they did. Of course Mary Margaret had agreed without a second thought and within the next half hour she had signed the consent form and had been wheeled to theatre. She lay back, only feeling tugging in her stomach more than pain, and waited for the sound of her baby. She was beginning to feel woozy and tired, but she held on, desperate to hear the crying that signaled her baby was alive and finally safe. It was taking longer than she expected, until finally the cries rang out and she sighed in relief, allowing the blackness to overtake her. Her last thought before she drifted to unconsciousness was that she had done her job. Her baby was safe, alive and David would be there soon to take care of her.

* * *

David had panicked when the call had been sent to voicemail, but Regina didn’t allow him to run out without first stopping for something to eat and some coffee. She sat and watched him as he ate the sandwich she had made him, refilling his coffee cup when it was empty. David glared at her reproachfully and she raised her eyebrow in return.

“I have to get back to her.”

“You are in no fit state todriveDavid, you are exhausted and I bet you haven’t been taking care of yourself. What good will you do for Maggie if you crash on the way back to her. What good would it be for Emma if both her parents are in hospital. You will rest for short time and then you can go back. Emma will be fine here for the night.

David shook his head but continued to eat the food in front of him, draining the second cup of coffee. He checked his phone every few minutes in case his wife had text him and he had missed it. He had finished eating and had started dozing in the chair, when his phone started ringing, waking him abruptly. Seeing it was his wife, he answered the call eagerly.

“Maggie? Are you okay?”

“Mr Nolan?”

David pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen, checking it was his wife’s phone that was calling. “Yes… who is this?”

“This is Nurse Nielson from the hospital. We think you should come back to the hospital sir. As soon as possible if that’s okay.” David’s heart began to race and he began to panic.

“What do you mean? What’s happened, is Mary Margaret okay?” He stood, looking around wildly for his keys, as Regina stood too in alarm.

“Mr Nolan, Doctor Hopper and Mrs Nolan’s obstetrician would rather speak to you face to face. Can you get here soon?” David grabbed his keys and held them aloft victoriously before his face fell again.

“I’ll be right there. I’m on my way.” He ended the call and started to head towards the door, stopping when Regina gripped his wrist to stop him moving.

“David what the hell is going on? Is Maggie okay?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. That was the hospital. They were calling on Maggie’s phone. I… I need to go right now. Something’s wrong.”

“David.” She said his name as its own sentence, waiting for him to pay attention to her. When he looked up at her from the text he had been formulating to Mary Margaret, she looked concerned. “Are you going to be ok driving? Do you want me to take you?”

“Just… look after Emma. I’ll call you. I gotta go.” He left without another word and was driving away from his daughter and his wife’s best friend in the next minute. He was at the hospital in record time, not sure if he had broken any traffic rules, but also not really caring. He was on autopilot as he took the familiar route to Mary Margaret’s room, his stomach dropping when he realised it was empty. He ran back out of the room and to the nurses station, knocking on the counter when he saw no one there. He was frantic, concerned about his wife and his brain was going into overdrive, creating all kinds of situations that might have happened.

“David.” He recognised the voice and turned around to face Doctor Hopper, who once again was demonstrating the perfect poker face.

“Doctor Hopper. Where is Maggie?”

“Will you come with me David?” Assuming he was about to be told the worst he gasped, his knees almost buckling under him. “David, I just think it would be better to talk about everything in a more private place. Let’s go to Mary Margaret’s room, there’s less people around.” David gripped hold of the counter as he tried to collect himself before he followed his wife’s doctor into the empty room. He went to talk but Doctor Hopper held his finger up, apologetically but unwaveringly asking for his attention. “First, there is someone I would like you to meet.” The door opened and David heard wheels squeaking, and he took a deep breath before he turned. “David, meet your daughter.”

David gasped, his stomach simultaneously dropping and exploding with butterflies at once. He peered into the incubator and grinned at the baby girl who appeared to be sleeping inside. He couldn’t stop smiling as feelings of love and adoration burst inside him. It took a second to register what having his baby in front of him actually meant.

“Wait, where’s Maggie? What’s going on? Is she okay?”

This time, Doctor Hopper’s poker face slipped. “I’m afraid that after delivery, Mary Margaret suffered a postpartum hemorrhage. She was in the theatre for her cesarean section and so they were able to quickly put her under anaesthetic to try and stop the bleed. She may have suffered complications connected with the treatment that she has been receiving.”

“Where is she? I need to see her!” David was frantic, looking between his new daughter and the doctor, trying to calm down to take in what was being said about his wife.

“Unfortunately Mary Margaret has yet to wake up from her surgery. She remains unconscious.” He took a deep breath before saying the next thing he needed to, not sure how the man in front of him, who was clearly on the edge, would react.

“I’m sorry Mr Nolan, but we’re not sure that she is going to wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end


	16. Epilogue - 18 Months Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surpriseeeeee. I had this planned from the beginning as I do not really like stories that end on cliffhangers or that don’t have happy endings. Therefore I decided to give you one. Hope you enjoyyy. Also, I spent two hours researching baby names for the baby, but I think the one I chose fit, for more reason than one. Also, I was going to wait a month between posting my final chapter and posting this, but I was just excited to post it and so posted it the first day after I finished writing it.

“Daddy, can you come and help me with this please” David smiled at his daughter and her politeness as he stood from where he was playing with Eva, following Emma to the other room. Eva was busy building some sponge blocks into a tower, and he knew she would be fine alone for a few minutes.

Emma stood by a table covered in decorations, glancing up at David with a frown. “What’s up sweetheart?”

“Why are we having a party daddy?” David knelt down in front of her, confused at her question.

“We’ve already talked about this duckling. It’s been a whole year since mommy got better and we wanted to invite some friends around to celebrate. You know the friends you made around the time your sister was born? They’re coming too.” Emma nodded, as if she was remembering things she had otherwise tried to forget. “Plus, because mommy was so sick, now shes better, we are going to celebrate every little thing that we want to, because we will do whatever it takes to make mommy happy, wont we?” Emma was smiling now, agreeing eagerly. She knew that her daddy did everything he could to make her mommy happy, and she knew that he would answer any questions that she asked him with a proper and honest answer.

“Where is mommy now?” Emma, though she was now eight, was not pulling away from her parents as some kids would, instead she treasured the extra time she had with them, always wanting to join in when they would read bedtime stories to Eva, she would cuddle into them during their lazy Sunday mornings, she would offer to help whichever parent was cooking, and she would do whatever they asked of her without complaint. It was for that reason that David and Mary Margaret would so readily agree to answer her questions, or get her something when she asked.

“Mommy is just taking a little nap sweetheart. Your sister had a bad night and she didn’t get much sleep. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you went up and gave her a cuddle.” Emma grinned happily at that and skipped off, heading upstairs to join her mother.

Looking around at the decorations that still had to be put up and thinking of the other jobs that needed doing before the party that afternoon, David quickly made his way back to his youngest, carrying her upstairs to put down for a nap. She had a cot in her own room but for a moment David debated putting her down for a nap next to Mary Margaret. He peeked his head in and saw Emma already fast asleep cuddled into Mary Margaret, she herself sleeping with her arms wrapped around the girl. He decided to give Emma time alone with her mother, and instead carried Eva to her room, putting a few toys in the cot in case she woke up and got bored.

After he wasn’t distracted with his little girls, it was easier to start preparing for the party. It was a bright sunny day and they had planned to have a barbecue outside. Mary Margaret had taken Emma shopping a few days earlier and they had picked out some lantern fairy lights for when it got darker, and some bunting and balloons. He prepared the picnic tables in the yard, making sure they were stocked with food for the barbecue, sides, and snacks as well as a selection of alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks.

The party had been David’s idea. Mary Margaret had taken a little persuading, not sure that she wanted to celebrate when some of her friends were no longer around to celebrate with them. However, she had agreed when he had made the point that he had been so close to losing her, and he wanted to celebrate every little moment with her. She was happy to have another excuse to bring her friends around, and spend some time with the people who had helped her get through the six months after her daughter was born. And when he’d agreed to let the party be combined with an early birthday celebration, along with her anniversary celebration, she quickly got on board.

He had just finished washing the dishes when he felt arms wrap around his waist and he turned quickly, pulling his wife into his arms, embracing her, feeling her melt into his arms. He kissed her soundly and grinned against her lips as she returned his kiss. He pulled her against him, his hand making its way into her hair as he held her close. He pulled away from their embrace for a moment, leaning his forehead against hers as he tried to calm his breathing. He ran his fingers through her hair, admiring the length it had grown to. She had spent a long time over the past year growing her hair, before it was styled into a pixie-cut style that she seemed to love. Before too long though, she was missing her long hair, and so vowed she would grow it out again, and she was currently on her way to a shoulder length bob. Mary Margaret had admitted to him when she decided to grow it out, that she missed how it felt when David ran his fingers through her hair.

“How was your nap?”

She smiled tiredly up at him, blinking the sleep from her eyes. “I was having a wonderful dream of you and I in the shower until I was awoken by a little devil demanding cuddles.” David looked apologetic until Maggie laughed and stepped back from his hold, reaching around him as if to grab something, slapping his ass when she did so. David jumped and narrowed his eyes at her surprised when she pinched his behind and took of running. David stood still for a moment before jumping into action, chasing her out of the kitchen and into the family room. She stood on the opposite side of the sofa, bouncing on the balls of her feet ready to run off away from him. He marvelled at the sound of her giggles as she shifted one way and darted the other when he moved towards her and carried on running until she was halfway up the stairs. She turned to face him as he stood on the bottom step and gestured to him, stepping back each time he stepped forward. When she was on the second step from the top, she stopped and waited for him to catch up with her. She was grinning playfully and when he was two steps down from him she crouched a little, a move David recognised as a game Emma played when she didn’t want to go to bed. He opened his arms just in time to catch his wife as she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. He gripped her behind and kissed her soundly as he finished climbing the stairs, heading in the direction of their bedroom.

“David…” Mary Margaret’s tone was a warning, one that David chose to ignore.

“Don’t worry darling, the guests aren’t due to arrive for ages, we have some time.” He raised his eyebrow suggestively, leaning in to kiss her again. They’d reached the bedroom, and David paused again as his wife spoke.

“That may be the case Mr Nolan, but our daughter is currently asleep in our bed, and I don’t think waking up and seeing her parents doing the hanky panky would be great for her development…” David’s face dropped at the comment, causing Maggie to laugh loudly. She tapped his arms to let her down and she smoothed out her shirt when her feet were planted firmly on the ground. David was pouting, and she grabbed his hand, pulling him in the direction of the bathroom.

“Come on horn-dog. Emma will keep herself occupied if she wakes up, and Eva cannot yet get out of her crib. We have some time…” David’s face brightened as Mary Margaret lifted her shirt above her head, throwing it behind her for David to catch. He did so, and followed along faster, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

The guests had all arrived on time, and Mary Margaret and David had spent the time mingling. The kids had woken as they started to arrive and Emma had been running around with the kids from school and from ‘group’ as they now called it. Eva was being passed around many of the guests, followed closely behind by her godmother. There was plenty of food and their garden was full of friends from the school, from David’s work, from the hospital etc. David and Mary Margaret were mingling separately but always managed to remain close to each other, with David laying his hand on her back when they were stood close, and Maggie giving his hand a squeeze every time she passed him.

David was talking to Ruby about an issue in their office as Regina walked over with her squealing god-daughter, handing her over to David. “Little miss is no longer happy with Auntie Regina, I think she wants mommy or daddy.” David lifted Eva into the air, blowing a raspberry on her stomach, throwing her half a foot into the air as she squealed with laughter. When he caught her she reached forward, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as she pressed slobbery kisses on his nose.

“Dada.”

“Yes princess?”

“Wan’ mama.” David pouted at her instant disregard of him for her mother, but he wasn’t bothered really. For the first six months of her life she had spent a lot of time away from her mother, and she hadn’t managed to bond with her in the way Emma had when she was born, but with the relationship they had now, it was not obvious. David leaned down and stood Eva on his feet, holding her tightly as he walked her over to his wife. She had seen the full interaction between her daughter and husband and so was waiting for them with a wide smile, opening her arms when David lifted Eva and swung her over to her. Eva clapped her hands happily as Mary Margaret smothered her face with kisses.

“MAMA!” She didn’t know many words at 18 months, and Maggie had made it known to David she was concerned that their youngest may be delayed in her development because of what had gone on during the pregnancy. David had been quick to soothe her fears, the next day returning home from work with articles from reputable journals about the differences in development in young children, and he had informed her that if she was still concerned in the future, they would get her assessed to make sure she had everything she needed. “Mama cookie?” The little girl looked hopefully at her mother, and Maggie hugged her tightly to her out of pure adoration.

“How many cookies have you already had today princess?” Eva, apparently unable to lie, held up three fingers with a grin. Maggie pretended to be shocked, and tickled the girl under her chin.

“Really? Auntie Gina let you have three cookies? Do I need to have a word with her?” Regina, who had been walking up to them, gasped over-exaggeratedly.

“Is the little monkey telling fibs?” She scrunched her nose up at Eva, the little girl giggling at the funny face her friend was making. “Auntie Gina allowed Eva one cookie. She also witnessed Emma sneaking her another when she thought I wasn’t looking.” Eva, easily distracted, began to fuss to get down, and Mary Margaret glanced around to see who was close. Ruby was standing by the drinks table, looking slightly uncomfortable, not mingling with the other guests.

“Eva… why don’t you go and talk to Auntie Ruby, she looks like she could do with a cuddle.” She spoke loud enough for Ruby to hear, and she knelt down, ready to grab the little girl when she toddled over. She smiled lightly at her friend, picking up the little girl and walking in the direction she was pointing at, the animated noises mixed in with the handful of words she knew enough to have Ruby laughing in seconds. When the little girl was out of sight, Mary Margaret turned to her best friend, wrapping her in a hug. Being Eva’s godmother, Maggie had seen her at least once every other week, but she had seen Ruby much less.

“She misses you you know.” Regina raised her brow at Maggie’s confused expression.

“We talk. I know you still see her, that Emma still does but… it’s not been the same since everything happened.” Maggie frowned as she looked around, seeing Ruby chatting half heartedly to Eva as she babbled. She was still watching when Ruby turned and met her gaze, and she waved, gesturing her back over. Eva was more than happy to head back towards her mommy and auntie Gina and clapped excitedly. Regina had her out of Ruby’s arms in a second and was flying her towards her daddy as she shrieked happily.

“Maggie…” Mary Margaret didn’t let her friend continue before she wrapped her tightly in a hug, both relaxing as the gesture was returned.

“I love you. You’re one of my best friends Ruby Lucas and I am so sorry for what I let happen.” Ruby kept hold of her, unwilling to release the woman who she’d once been so close to.

“Maggie I…”

The teacher shook her head to stop the lawyer from talking and interrupted her again. “I was wrong. So much of how I was… what I did, was not the way I should have behaved and I know that I’m sorry isn’t enough but I am. I know it shouldn’t have, but it has taken what happened for me to realise that I cannot behave the way I did. I hurt you, I hurt my family, I hurt a lot of people and I wish I could take it back. But I can’t. What I can do, is I can make it up to you. And I will. I promise.”

Ruby pulled back and wiped the tears that had gathered in her eyes. “I… I can’t go through it again. I don’t know what to do.” Mary Margaret frowned at her friend, reaching out to grab her arm when she turned to talk away.

“What do you mean honey? What’s going on?” Ruby shook her head in response, not wanting to say the words out loud. “Come with me.” She didn’t wait for an answer as she took her hand and pulled her into the house, not stopping until they were far enough away from the party that they couldn’t hear the noise. Ruby was crying now, wiping her eyes furiously, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was holding herself together. “Talk to me Rubes… Maybe I can help?”

“Granny… she’s sick again. She told me that she wasn’t going to put herself through treatment again, and the doctors say that without treatment she isn’t going to make it. I can’t lose her. She’s all I have.” Maggie held her as she began to cry again, rubbing her back to try and calm her erratic breathing, a method that usually worked with Emma. Maggie knew that Granny had legally adopted Ruby when she was a young girl and she had been the only constant in her life since she was a child. She also knew that losing her grandmother would be the hardest thing her friend would ever have to deal with, and she had to blink back her own tears at that thought. They remained sat together until Ruby’s sobs subsided and she began to hiccup, and Mary Margaret sat and waited until she looked back up. “What do I do?”

“I don’t think that I am the best person to answer that Rubes… but I do know that whatever happens… I promise you wont go through it alone. I promise.”

“I can’t watch her die Maggie… She’s already so weak. I fucking hate cancer.”

“Mommy?” Both women looked up at Emma who was stood in the doorway. She looked upset and Mary Margaret quickly worked out what part of the conversation she would have heard. From Ruby’s wide eyes, it seemed she had too.

“Come here baby.” Maggie held her arms out for Emma and pulled her onto her lap after she ran to her.

“Mommy…” Her bottom lip quivered and she glanced between her mother and godmother.

“Baby, Auntie Ruby’s granny is sick, and Ruby is sad. Maybe you can give her one of your magic cuddles.” Emma nodded, almost falling face first onto Ruby, her short arms twisting around the taller woman. Ruby returned the affection, running her fingers through the long blonde curls in an effort to calm both herself and the little girl who was clearly feeling the tension in the room. Mary Margaret stood, deciding to leave two of her favourite people looking after each other. Emma was silent until Mary Margaret had left the room, at which time she pulled back and looked Ruby dead in the eye.

“I hate cancer too.”

* * *

Mary Margaret had gone back outside to find David, not saying a word as she embraced him. When the hug went on for longer than he expected, David pulled back to look her in the eye, and frowned when he saw how troubled she looked.

“Is everything okay sweetheart?”

“I’m so sorry. I know I’ve said it before but sometimes I think I don’t realise just how much I hurt you guys last year. I hate how I treated you both. You know if I could change what happened, I would.”

“Has something happened?” David looked perplexed at the apology, given he’d heard it and forgiven her for it months ago.

“Ruby’s granny is terminal and she’s been dealing with it all alone. I don’t know how to help her and I just can’t stop… thinking.” David pulled his wife closer, holding on until Ruby walked out onto the patio, eyes red, holding Emma on her hip, struggling slightly under her weight. Their daughter was slight and a little short for her age, but she was 8, and heavier than she had been the year previously. Mary Margaret and David walked over to her together, David reaching for Emma as Maggie linked arms with Ruby.

“Do you want to stay? Don’t feel obligated, or that we want you to go…” She stumbled over her words, not quite sure what to say. “I just mean, what do you want to do?”

“I think I should go home. Check on her. Maybe I can take Emma out sometime this week?” Mary Margaret nodded, following her friends gaze to where her husband, friend and daughters were standing, the adults trying to not make it obvious that they were looking. Mary Margaret gestured to Regina, who handed the baby to David before walking over, to join her friends. She could tell instantly that Ruby had been crying, and David had told her about her grandmother so she knew without having to ask why her friend was so upset.

“I was just talking with David and he said that he has a day off this week so he can keep an eye on the kids. I was thinking we should have a girls night, or spa day? It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to just spend time with each other and I think we could all do with it.” The lawyer and the teacher both nodded at once, the former letting out a quiet sob, trying to muffle it with her hand.

“I would like that. Text me the details and I’ll… I just have to get home…”

“Why don’t you let me drive you Ruby?” The answer was a simple nod, and after they both quickly hugged their host, Ruby and Regina walked out together, Regina squeezing Ruby’s hand in comfort.

Mary Margaret was watching them go when she felt a tug at her hand, and she saw Emma, eyes wide, watching her godmother and auntie leave the property. “Mommy, is Auntie Ruby gonna be okay?” Mary Margaret knelt down so she was face to face with her daughter, taking her hand properly.

“Auntie Ruby may be sad for a while sweetheart, but we are going to make sure that whenever she needs a friend or a cuddle from her favourite duckling, that we are there. Now come on, we have a busy week ahead of us, so lets get back to the party and have some fun okay?”

The little girl nodded, happy to walk back into the party where she had her friends round, and she was being allowed to eat more candy than usual. “Mommy can we go see Granny this week?”

“Well how about me and you have a girls day? We can invite Auntie Ruby and Auntie Gina around and we can bake granny a cake, how about that? Maybe you and Auntie Ruby can take it to her before you go spend time with her.” At the prospect of seeing her godmother and ‘her Granny’, the little girl cheered up considerably. She skipped off, smiling, when one of her friends called her over, leaving Mary Margaret to send a quick text to her friend, telling her to call if she needed, any time.

* * *

About two hours after the guests had started arriving, David, alongside a couple of guys he worked with began the barbeque. It was mid to late afternoon, but the sun was still high in the sky and the guests were still mingling and enjoying themselves. Eva had been fed and had fallen asleep. Mary Margaret had tried to take her upstairs and put her to bed, but Regina had returned as she had finished feeding and had been happy to sit in the hammock at the bottom of the garden, and cradle the little girl to sleep.

Maggie took her a plate when the first lot of food had been cooked and made sure that the kids had their food before she sat down herself. Emma had been trailing her for about ten minutes and so when she had a plate she sat at one of the tables and pulled Emma onto her lap, ignoring her food while Emma looked for comfort.

“Are you okay duckling?

Emma was quiet, nodding once before leaning into Mary Margaret’s neck. She shifted so her arm was wrapped around her mothers and curled into her. It reminded Mary Margaret of the time after she’d given birth when she had recovered enough to be around her family, and she’d spent almost a full twenty four hours holding her daughter, only letting go when either of them needed the bathroom. Mary Margaret stroked her fingers through Emma’s hair, humming a melody from a song she used to sing to Emma when she was an infant. Emma picked a chip off her mothers plate and nibbled it, looking around at the other guests. Maggie was not used to her being so quiet, and knew that her being tired wasn’t the whole story. She knew that everything had happened when she was at an age where she was beginning to understand and internalise. It didn’t happen often but Mary Margaret had witnessed a couple of episodes where Emma had completely pulled away from everyone, refusing to talk or communicate with anyone. She would go a day or two keeping to herself and then when she came out of it, she was unusually clingy, and wouldn’t leave her parents side for a long time. Mary Margaret had informed David that if she did it again, they would try and get her to talk to a professional, and she spent the next number of days wracked with guilt.

The lullaby reached its end and Mary Margaret tucked Emma’s hair behind her ear, shifting her on her lap so she could eat. Emma remained cuddled into her side for a while longer, both picking off the same plate, until one of her friends from school ran over to ask her to play. Seeing her daughter was now happy and distracted, she stood from where she’d been sat. David was still at the grill, but he was drinking a beer while someone else cooked. She glanced down to the bottom of the garden, seeing Regina still in the hammock, rubbing Eva’s back as they rocked in the wind. 

She took the opportunity to just people watch, observing the guests at the party. Her friends from the hospital were congregated in one area of the garden while the friends she had known for longer, both their colleagues, and the parents of Emma’s friends were more evenly dispersed. It made her tearful to look around and see the friends that were there, making it even more obvious about the ones who weren’t. The first person she locked eyes on was Milah. She was stood by the barbeque, watching the kids play together. She’d bought Liam to play with his friends, but Mary Margaret knew she would rather not be at a celebration. Maggie’s heart began to ache as she realised the last time they had been in a similar situation had been the last time Killian had been to an event. When Mary Margaret was six months into remission, they had invited a few friends around to celebrate Eva’s first birthday. Killian, Zelena and Maggie had become close during the 12 months prior and they had been invited with their families, along with the godparents and a few close others. It was a week later that Killian had passed away, with Milah informing her a few days after he died that he had wanted to be there so much, he had hung on for the party and had gone downhill soon after, the birthday celebration being the last time he had left the house.

Maggie watched as Zelena approached Milah cautiously, and she pulled Emma closer as she watched them hug, Milah holding on a little longer and tighter than was customary. She knew that the woman had been struggling in the months since her husbands death, and although Maggie had tried to help out, taking Liam on playdates with Emma, she knew that she was not in a good place. Zelena had been slowly bringing her out of her shell, dubbing herself Milah’s best friend, and they took turns in having the other’s kids over for playdates when it was needed. Mary Margaret debated going over to join them, but with Emma settled on her lap, she didn’t want to disturb the girl when she finally looked relaxed.

“Mommyyyyyyy!” The screech made Emma jump in her lap, and as emotional as she was, she started to cry at being wakened to abruptly. Mary Margaret held her close, whispering to her as she watched Robyn run from the bouncy house to where Zelena was stood. Zelena knelt down and picked Robyn up, swinging her around in a circle before she put her back on the ground, the little girl then hugging Milah’s legs after Zelena whispered something to her. Emma turned to where her mother was looking, seeing her friend and her mother’s friends stood in a small group.

“Mommy can I go say hi to Auntie Lena?” Mary Margaret nodded, kissing Emma’s temple as she set her down on the ground.

“No problem baby. Give her and Auntie Milah a hug from me okay?” The little girl ran off quickly, hugging both of the women. Mary Margaret smiled at the two women as they waved at her from the other end of the garden, before she stood from her seat to get comfortable again now that she didn’t have an 8 year old on her lap. She had been thinking about Killian when she was planning the party and with every invitation that was sent to members of her chemo group, she wondered how they were all doing. She hadn’t kept up with many of them as much as she had with Zelena and Killian, and she was surprised at some of the RSVP’s she had received as well as the reasons she had been given for the declined invitations. She could see David had taken back over with the barbeque and so made her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind, leaning against his back. David, used to her hugging him at random times, dropped the spatula he was holding and spun on the spot, wapping one arm around her.

“Hey you. Where are the kids?” Maggie turned on the spot, pointing out Emma who was sat with Milah, pulling funny faces trying to cheer her up. David smiled fondly at his daughter before following his wife’s gaze to where his youngest was. Regina was sat in the corner of the bounce house, it now quieter due to the kids eating, and was holding Eva’s hands as she bounced up and down. Seeing that both his kids were safe and happy, he pulled his wife closer, tucking her into his side after he kissed her sweetly. They stood together and surveyed their guests, Mary Margaret sighing as she thought of all the people that weren’t able to be there.

Merida had declined the invitation over social media, informing her that she was travelling the world, starting with Europe, making the most of her time after finding out she had relapsed, just a few weeks before receiving the invitation. She had promised to return to say goodbye towards the end, but Mary Margaret knew it was unlikely. She had informed David that when Merida was back in the states, if it was feasible they would be going out to visit her. Knowing how much the red-haired Scot meant to Maggie, he had readily agreed, and already had started to research family holidays in different areas of the country.

The other Scot that Maggie had invited had also declined, wanting to spend all his time with his wife and newborn son. Maggie had immediately sent a gift to the new family, making the grumpy man promise to send photographs and updates of Gideon. Strangely, the request had been met with equal enthusiasm, multiple pictures and a request for updates of Eva and Emma, whom he had become fond of during their time together during ‘chemo club’.

“Mary Margaret?” Stuck in her own thoughts, it took a repeat of her name for Maggie to pay attention, and she blinked, seeing Jack and Lily in front of her, hands linked together. The teacher shook her head to clear her thoughts and pulled away from David’s embrace to hug both the women in turn.

“Guys! You both look fantastic!” Both women looked tanned, happy and healthy and Mary Margaret couldn’t help but smile when they hugged first her and then David. “How was the honeymoon?”

“Oh it was absolutely fantastic.” Lily was brimming with excitement and Jack was rolling her eyes playfully at her wife. “We swam with sharks, and we did a cooking class and we went hiking and it was amazing.” Lily spoke quickly, clearly happy with how the trip had gone, and she carried on talking about the things they had done, David asking them relevant questions. Mary Margaret took the opportunity of not talking to watch Jack as Jack watched her wife. It warmed her heart to see the look of adoration that Jack had when looking at Lily, and she knew it was similar to the way that David looked at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. As if she could sense her eyes on her, Jack looked to Mary Margaret, blushing at being caught staring. Mary Margaret leaned into David, revelling in the comfort and safety that he made her feel.

Lily stopped talking, maybe realising that Mary Margaret hadn’t been paying attention and she looked up at Jack who was smiling tenderly. “I started rambling again didn’t I?” Jack lifted her free hand to cup Lily’s cheek.

“Yes you did my love.” The look the pair were giving each other was so intense that Mary Margaret and David turned away wanting to give them their privacy. Mary Margaret smiled up at her husband, squeezing his hand as he grinned down at her.

“I love you.” She mouthed the words to him, beaming when he mouthed them back. He opened his arms and she leaned into his chest, enjoying the comfortable warmth that it gave. When she turned back to their guests she saw Jack and Lily were walking away hand in hand.

“I’m so glad they were able to come, they weren’t sure if they’d be back from their honeymoon in time.” David nodded, raising his hand to caress her cheek.

“Maybe we could plan another little something for the guys who weren’t able to attend. Who wasn’t able to come for this party?”

Mary Margaret frowned as she considered the question, thinking about Killian, and the others who they had lost. She was unsure about how Walsh was doing, having not heard from him, and the invitation having been ‘returned to sender’. Will had also failed to attend, but Mary Margaret knew that he was at least doing well, having moved to England where he was working for a big company, now happy and healthy.

“I don’t think that will be likely. We can plan things with Merida and maybe Robert will want to set the babies up on a playdate but… Some of them want to forget all about chemo club and I don’t want to force them to think about it every time I have a party. I just… we wont force it okay.” David nodded, watching his wife carefully, frowning as he thought about her words.

“I don’t want to do anything that upsets you sweetheart. Do I… force you?”

“No David, no, I didn’t mean me. These guys are my friends and as much as it was a horrible time, it was also the time that Eva came to us and I can’t just block out that time of my life. Don’t worry about me. Things are good now. And they’ll only start getting better. I promise.” David raised his eyebrow quizzically confused by her secretive little smile.

“What did you do Maggie?” Maggie grinned, winking at her husband before she turned to walk away, heading towards the children who were surrounding the princess entertainer who was currently blowing up balloons. Elsa had reached out soon after receiving her invitation to the party, informing Maggie that she had started a business and would love to attend the party as a entertainer for the children, while her business was in the early stages. Maggie had been delighted that her friend had found something that excited her and that bought some meaning to her life. The pair had talked once when they’d both had appointments with Doctor Hopper and they’d been sat together in the waiting area. Elsa had told her than Anna, her sister had loved princesses when she was young and so Elsa had decided to create the business in memory of her.

“Hey Elsa.” The young woman turned to Mary Margaret with a wide grin, her legs currently being gripped by Robyn who was hugging her favourite princess tightly.

“Maggie, thank you so much for allowing me to do this. Seeing the kids, seeing you guys again, it really has been wonderful.” Mary Margaret returned the woman’s hug with vigour taking her hands and stepping back.

“I’m so glad you came Elsa. I hope you don’t mind, but I passed on your business details to some of the parents at the school, so you may hear from them for their parties and events. I am so grateful for your assistance in planning the entertainment aspect of this party, I must say it is amazing.” Elsa was blushing at the praise and ducked her head, nodding her thanks. She was about to respond when one of the kids called for her and with an apologetic smile she turned back to her captive audience. Seeing she was busy, Mary Margaret turned around, checking to see if she had spoken to most or all of the guests. Everyone appeared happy and were talking to other guests or eating and drinking. She waved when she noticed David watching her and tilted her head towards the house, so he knew she was going inside for a moment. She found a quite room, far enough away from the garden that there was no noise filtering through. She sat down and closed her eyes, enjoying a moment of comfortable silence, before a cry of ‘mama’ interrupted her serenity. She startled, opening her eyes to see Regina standing before her, holding her young goddaughter on her hip.

“I’m sorry Maggie, it seems little miss is now bored with my prescence and is demanding her mother’s undivided attention.” Mary Margaret grinned as Eva reached for her and she leaned back as the child settled on her lap, wrapping the long necklace around her chunky fist. Regina settled next to her friend, pulling one leg up under her, as she turned to face her.

Eva was distracted, exploring the immediate space around her and so Mary Margaret turned to face her friend, seeing that she was watching Eva wistfully instead of looking at her.

“You okay Gina?”

The older brunette frowned at the question, looking directly at her friend. “I don’t know if okay is the word. Maybe… broody?” Mary Margaret laughed before seeing the look on the woman’s face, stopping instantly.

“Has something happened?” Regina looked down at her hands, sniffing as if to hold back tears.

“Not officially… we’ve just been trying for so long and nothing is happening… We have appointments to check up on things. We…really… we’ve wanted another since Henry was a toddler, we’ve pretty much been trying ever since…” Mary Margaret swallowed, hesitant to say the wrong thing to her closest friend. She moved Eva to the spot between them and wrapped her arms around her, holding on tightly.

“If I can do anything… anything at all, just give me a call... If you need a lift to the appointment, if you need a hand to hold… anything okay? You call me.” Regina nodded, wiping away the tears in her eyes, clinging to her friend. They remained in an embrace, Mary Margaret allowing Regina to cry into her shoulder until Eva whined, wanting to get involved into the cuddle. Regina pulled back, smiling briefly at Maggie before leaning over, kissing Eva on both of her chubby cheeks.

“I think I should head home. I left Henry and Daniel all day, so they’re probably vegged out in front of the football, having ordered takeout…” She tried to smile but it was forced, and Maggie stood when her friend did, taking her hand to stop her walking straight out.

“Just… call me later okay. When the kids are in bed, when Daniel’s busy. Call me.” She paused to make sure the woman was listening. “I love you. Drive safe.” This time the smile was real and she waved to the woman and her daughter as she left the room, ready to head home. Eva began to whine again and Mary Margaret sat back down, allowing the almost-toddler to climb onto her chest, lying across her like she did when she was an infant. The little girl rested her cheek on Maggie’s chest, reaching up to grab a fistful of her hair. It was the way Eva used to sleep when she was crying, or sick and a way that she hadn’t slept in a long time. Maggie knew that she wouldn’t have many more oppurtunities to hold her baby girl like that and so she would cherish every moment. She watched the girl, stroking her back, and her hair until she fell asleep, and when she was sleeping peacefully, Mary Margaret closed her eyes, matching her breathing with the body on her chest. The comforting pressure on her chest, the tiredness, and the excitement of the day meant that a few minutes later, she was drifting off to sleep.

It was a shifting pressure next to her that pulled her back to consciousness. She felt a sinking beside her and a light prod to her cheek and when she opened her eyes to Emma’s face right in front of her nose she jumped, the physical movement causing Eva to jolt awake and start crying. Emma looked from her mother to her sister, the baby’s tears causing Emma to screw her face up. Mary Margaret moved quickly, sitting up and moving Eva onto her lap, before pulling Emma into her side.

She rocked them both, not used to them both acting like they were at the same time and eventually they both calmed. Eva was tired, and Emma looked like she could do with a nap, and so Mary Margaret moved forward so she was sat on the edge of the sofa, laying Emma across the cushions. When she was comfortable and blinking up at her mother blearily, she lay Eva, who was once again sleeping between Emma and the back of the sofa so she would fall off if she rolled. She quickly pulled a throw from the back of the sofa, tucking the sisters up together. Emma was calmer, and the woman kissed her forehead, pushing the hair out of her face. She whispered her love to her and stood in the doorway, watching her daughters until they were both sound asleep.

She felt David’s presence behind her before she felt him wrap his arms around her waist. She leaned back solidly against him, her head lolling against his shoulder. David pressed a kiss to her temple, holding her close to him. She felt his heartbeat against his back and closed her eyes as she revelled in his embrace.

“Are you okay my love?” Instead of answering, the woman hummed, crossing her own arms so she was holding onto him.

“I was just thinking. Are you enjoying the party? It was partially for your birthday after all.” She felt his chuckle and she tilted her head back to try and look up at him.

“Yes dear, the party is great. It’s been wonderful seeing everyone, seeing how good they are doing. I’ve had a good time.”

“You know the party is not your present right?” She raised her brow at him and he smirked at the look on her face.

“You know I don’t need any presents my love. I have everything I could want or need right here sweetheart… My whole family, happy and healthy.” He looked past his wife to his children, seeing that Eva had rolled onto her side and was cuddling into her sister. “If there are any presents, we can donate them. You said you wanted to do more for charity, now is a great time to start.” He grinned at her when she turned to face him, with a look that said she thought he was being ridiculous. Used to her expressions, David grinned poking his tongue out at her wrinkled nose and faux-annoyed gaze. She pulled out of his grip, taking his hand as she pulled him properly into the room. She glanced between her husband and her daughters, caught in a moment of pure adoration for her family, and feeling blessed that she was able to experience this moment with them. One of unadulterated peace and happiness. A glance at David found he was watching her with a content smile on his face and she blushed at the intensity of his gaze.

“Well that’s the thing my love. This isn’t something that we can really donate. In fact it’s connected with that ‘everything you ever need’”. His expression told her that he wasn’t following what she was saying so she giggled, squeezing his hand to make her point. “You’re right. Your whole family is here. They’re happy and they’re healthy. It’s just… growing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. For real this time. 
> 
> I was advised that this follows a similar storyline to a English soap. I have never seen that soap (because it sucks), and the idea stemmed from a dream I had after seeing a news article where something like this happened in real life. So if you recognise it, it’s from reality not English TV. :’)
> 
> The name of the story doesn’t really make sense (bearing in mind when I started it I titled it ‘Once Upon a Dream’ because I had no idea what to call it) but I was listening to ‘Hearts’ by Jessie Ware a lot when I wrote it and it somehow seemed to fit.
> 
> I would like to give sincere thanks to my work colleagues (Danielle, Ellanor, Gemma, Hannah, Jess, Katie, Keyley, Laura and Matt) for their contributions to this story (and Lynn for reading it!). You don’t know who they are and you don’t care but in the words of one of them as I write this ‘I am amazing, I deserve shoutouts’. 
> 
> Yes I was forced to write that.
> 
> But in all seriousness, my work people have been a big help over the last few months. When I struggle, they cheer me up and they have occasionally helped me find the odd synonym and they’ve told me that something makes sense when I ask them. And Matt says he co-wrote this story with me. So there’s that.
> 
> Thankyou to all those that read this, and continued to do so when it was crap. It’s been a long journey (not just in the story, but in my life) and a lot has happened in the time I have been writing and posting. Good and bad, I have used this story to keep me sane and I am a little sad its over. Maybe now I’ll actually work on my other ‘in progress’ stories.


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